Kids: Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told... - FML

By Pumpkin - 18/07/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 201

You deserved it 102 931

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By parent - 08/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 204

You deserved it 2 823

By anonymous - 19/08/2013 05:41 - United States - Lamar

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 374

You deserved it 3 053

By Mom - 25/07/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 875

You deserved it 26 212

Get with the times

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 17:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss's daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 211

You deserved it 3 376

Bad thought

By Anonymous - 24/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Longmont

Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 201

Misunderstood

By not a phobe - 16/07/2020 08:02

Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 327

You deserved it 239

Mixed messages

By mook - 15/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesn't know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 252

You deserved it 5 688

By Jason - 05/02/2018 15:30 - United States - Kenai

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is actually a man. Not a transgender person, I'm okay with that, but an actual gay man who gets a kick out of pranking other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 540

You deserved it 1 005

Denial

By TedX - 19/08/2020 20:07

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 226

Trans women are women

By whoops - 03/10/2020 05:06

Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 347

Next

Top comments

imamonster1 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 12:08

yeah this kid is a champ.

Sirrush 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 12:08

haha, that's a great idea, very original. But seriously, if you were a bit open minded with him you could have avoided this... I'm also kinda wondering just how you found out.

Comments

fuckitfuckitfuck 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 21:24

on your son's part, EPIC WIN!

Phillyphan 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 21:28

So when he's straight you don't let girls in his room... Double standard if you let boys in his room when you thought he was gay.

jaaxx_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 21:33

your missing the point completely the kid friggen lied to her

OleShammy 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 21:43

YDI upon epic proportions. Your son's got the right idea. I think I might try that...If my dad was as close-minded as the OP.

omar_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 21:44

haha, did you wan't a gay son?

davebrave 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 21:49

EPIC WIN hahaha your son is awesome

Kingsandman 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 22:04

kids a ******* genius!

chynesko67 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 22:13

smartest idea ive ever heard.

crazyho27 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 22:18

hahahaha i love your son! thats creative shitt!!

little_boy_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 22:25

your son is such a pimp

13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22

Keywords

Animals Cute Cats Family Sex Intimacy Awkward Coworkers Work Alcohol Psychology Health Mental health Love AITA Weird Relationship advice Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents Birthday Dogs Cake Embarrassing Transportation Cars Cooking

The Top

Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 906

You deserved it 2 784

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 1 992

The Top

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 391

You deserved it 5 728

Today, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year, with no success. My husband's unemployable brother and (still legally married to another man) fiancée announced they are expecting. They have 7 kids between the two of them already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 124

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 418

You deserved it 4 742

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 230

You deserved it 4 305

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 148

You deserved it 30 990

Today, my boyfriend picked a scab off of my back and ate it without a moment of hesitation. When I questioned him on it, he nonchalantly replied that he’s been doing it his whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 107