Health: Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their... - FML

By Cheyenne - 11/07/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 3 701

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 947

You deserved it 13 365

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 00:17 - Israel

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 423

You deserved it 3 722

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 431

You deserved it 60 038

By aggghghgh - 14/05/2016 08:51

Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 534

You deserved it 2 120

First class slob

By Anonymous - 11/12/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my husband admitting that he doesn’t wash his hands after having diarrhea. I had no prior knowledge of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 97

Gross out

By Ewt - 06/12/2019 05:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 329

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 01/07/2019 04:14

Today, I realised I can tell which family member has just left the bathroom from the smell alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 173

Worst life hack ever

By 1meme129 - 24/02/2016 14:12 - United States - Denver

Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 302

You deserved it 1 599

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 725

You deserved it 3 071

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 009

You deserved it 8 461

Next

Top comments

furryfatblob 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 12:18

what do they wash their hands before!?

MeltedMint 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 12:39

Aww it's too late. But you COULD always go around with some anti-bacterial soap and ambush their hands randomly.

Comments

Schazam 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 15:48

You finally recognized the taste was familiar.

Farx 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:00

Stop whining, it builds up your immune system.

andrew245 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:01

wow how is this a fml? it's not that bad

Lunaticc 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:24

No more friendly handshakes for you. FYL.

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 11 July 2010 19:08

I always yelled at people when my kids were babies and they would come up and touch their hands. Kids put everything in their mouths. "How clean are your hands!!!?" I didn't care if I came across as rude, these are my kids!

Mumbellosity711 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:28

wait...since when are you supposed to wash your hands?

lieuwkill1 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:30

well, that's washed up

OhBugga 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:39

charming.

Mariax_fml 2

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:40

That's disgusting. :/

seviluvsu 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 17:38

sad and gross fyl op

AYsalchicha 3

Sunday 11 July 2010 17:56

Maybe everyone in your family (but you apparently) has a colostomy bag? So they never come in direct contact with their urine and feces? Pray for colostomy bags man. That's sick.

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Haircut Work Awkward Health Neighbours Mental health Love Dating Weird Doctor Christmas Parenting Kids My ex Social Media Instagram Break-ups Crush Sex Money Shopping AITA Anxiety Intimacy Wanker DIY Relatable Miscellaneous Weather Cars

The Top

Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 612

You deserved it 55 894

Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 976

You deserved it 4 225

The Top

Today, through my Ring doorbell I saw a pregnant woman knock on the door for my son and claim the baby was his. He just said to her, "No it’s not", then shut the door in her face. She left before I could get there. The little bastard won’t tell me her name or phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 195

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 252

You deserved it 4 278

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 476

You deserved it 59 762

Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 389

You deserved it 5 762

Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 729

You deserved it 87 786

Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 135