Miscellaneous: Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back...

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 334

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Top comments

TheAbsentOne 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 15:59

Idiot. FYL.

zarahboo 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 20:24

am i the only one who noticed that the person is actually a woman but illustrated as a man? (look at the original story)

Comments

franceypants 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 3:24

that's why you double check the day before sneaking out dummy

ROBfmlROB 0

Monday 26 September 2011 2:26

This is a copy of that commericial. Fail. Be more original.

anongrl5846 19

Thursday 22 March 2012 19:09

Me 2

StormFML 7

Friday 19 April 2013 4:30

Maybe next time you should being keys or go in through the back smart one. YDI

Circles 18

Friday 16 January 2015 17:57

"You know what's a good idea, posting about this while I wait for my parents to realise I'm out here and give me a beating" -OP

Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Kids Birthday Money Cute Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 137

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 626

You deserved it 34 713

The Top

Today, my ex-wife, who I have a 1000-yard restraining order against since she threatened my new wife and our kids, moved into a house down the street. The police say they can't do anything because her house is more than 1000 yards from mine. It's 1012 yards away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 717

You deserved it 225

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 578

You deserved it 45 086

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 932

You deserved it 4 369

Today, for 20 minutes, I watched my girlfriend use a mini flashlight to look for her keys in her purse. The flashlight was on her key chain. As were her keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 740

You deserved it 382

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 435

You deserved it 3 384

Today, I found out that the “stranger” I’ve been confessing my kinky, dark, and disgusting fantasies to online is a friend from high school, who figured out it was me by the third sentence. Now I'm praying she has a heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 1 378