Health: Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his... - FML

By KJL - 29/08/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 775

You deserved it 3 865

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 908

You deserved it 6 511

By anonymous - 20/03/2012 22:33 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 332

You deserved it 4 013

It sort of is

By AMP4U - 31/08/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 7 463

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 596

You deserved it 5 193

By woundedexwife - 16/01/2010 01:22 - United States

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 950

You deserved it 2 835

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 4 006

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 955

You deserved it 6 829

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 830

You deserved it 4 155

Skidmarks

By smelly asses - 17/09/2020 07:50

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 191

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 17:01 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 360

You deserved it 3 110

Next

Top comments

Johnothan 0

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

That's hilarious. He's winning

Ads11 10

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

*Twilight Zone Tune*

Comments

gimmenovacaine 4

Monday 29 August 2011 20:06

This is the best LOL!!

Alexisthebestest 16

Monday 29 August 2011 20:08

I think he's on to something here...

Zaffro 8

Monday 29 August 2011 20:28

You married an uneducated idiot well done!

xlizzx 0

Monday 29 August 2011 20:31

Maybe it's not so bad.... Maybe his farts are saying "I love you"

Salkadi 9

Monday 29 August 2011 20:35

It's better that than him receiving messages from god through the neighbor's dog

Pendragon525 0

Monday 29 August 2011 20:37

Perhaps, if the Morse Code gets him nowhere, he should try a Ouija Board?

unillenium 6

Monday 29 August 2011 20:45

Perhaps higher powers are trying to warn him of a dangerous gas leak. P.S. Fart Jokes aren't funny.

Cynical_in_SK 6

Monday 29 August 2011 20:53

Just when you thought the nut jobs couldn't get any crazier! I mean ignorance is one thing...that can usually be cured...but this? This is just fricken scary!

champjb 0

Monday 29 August 2011 21:10

they say to just go to the bathroom

iceman05 0

Monday 29 August 2011 21:23

awesome!

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Tattoos Work Mental health Annoying Customers Bikes Motorbike Transportation Accident Concert Money Kids Parents Family Nice Guys AITA Love Hair Health Cute Divorce Sex Cheating Weddings Animals Cats Relatable DIY Teenagers Awkward

The Top

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 885

You deserved it 4 830

Today, my perfect princess sister is finally going to jail where she belongs. My parents, who doted on her while dumping shit on me, blame me for “being a bad influence and not talking to the judge on her behalf.” I’m a technical engineer; what influence do they think I have in a criminal court? FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 58

The Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 293

You deserved it 2 901

Today, I was fired for the first time in my life from a job that I actually loved and was passionate about. Apparently, none of my coworkers liked me and they thought that was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 081

You deserved it 681

Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 556

You deserved it 69 033

Today, my boss reached a new low when, after three software upgrades, she refused to let me update the user manual that I wrote a year ago. She has also cancelled the training sessions I set up to help people learn the new software. People are asking me why I'm not doing my job anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 318

You deserved it 177

Today, we all know how terrible those long, silent farts can be, right? Especially when they’re coming from your expensive, self-inflating air mattress, and you’re just about the farthest distance from home on a bikepacking trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 167

Today, I suddenly was in my kitchen, preparing some food. I don't remember making this food, or anything else that I did today. Yesterday and the day before are also gone. My house is clean and nice, but my cat is scared of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 112