By wowbuddy - 05/07/2016 05:51 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I felt the tag of my shirt bunch up in my skirt. As I reached into my skirt to rearrange it, it started moving. It was a four-inch cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 739
You deserved it 987

wowbuddy tells us more.

wowbuddy 19

Hey guys, this is OP So I'm thinking the reason that the cockroach managed to get in there in the first place is that my friends and I were all at a park with this really sketchy bathroom. Me and one of my friends had gone in there to go to the bathroom and it most likely crawled into my skirt when my skirt was around my ankles... The reason I never felt it in my skirt until a few hours later is because while it was in there, it didn't move at all until I grabbed it. Cue shaking out my shirt and screaming like a madman while fireworks are going off, I watched it fall and crawl away. As some of you said, it couldn't have been that big, that's why at first I thought it was a horned beetle, as bugs here in Arizona do actually get super big. The reason I said cockroach is one of my friends pointed out that it had nothing on it except the shell and legs, as it was dark outside. All in all, I am definitely scarred for life and refuse to leave my house ever again *sarcasm*

Top comments

flyingflies 36

So, how fast did you get your clothes off?

Comments

"…so right as I was about to round third base, I felt th—" "Dude, let me stop you right there. Are you talking about a cockroach, or is this another one of your gross human interspecies sexual exploits? Because those totally don't count." "…"

verg_fml 2

My whole body just got goosebumps from reading this. UGH!

one might think the fml staff would create a new category for them.

The largest roaches you'd probably ever encounter are burrowing roaches which rarely reach bigger than 3 inches and are at biggest 3.1 inches. Unless you live in like, Panama, this seems a big exaggerated.

TabooSushi 24

I live in San Diego and have seen a 4-inch roach. We grow 'em big out here.

there are counseling groups for stuff like this

l3b4s1 8

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ad infinitum

wowbuddy 19

Hey guys, this is OP So I'm thinking the reason that the cockroach managed to get in there in the first place is that my friends and I were all at a park with this really sketchy bathroom. Me and one of my friends had gone in there to go to the bathroom and it most likely crawled into my skirt when my skirt was around my ankles... The reason I never felt it in my skirt until a few hours later is because while it was in there, it didn't move at all until I grabbed it. Cue shaking out my shirt and screaming like a madman while fireworks are going off, I watched it fall and crawl away. As some of you said, it couldn't have been that big, that's why at first I thought it was a horned beetle, as bugs here in Arizona do actually get super big. The reason I said cockroach is one of my friends pointed out that it had nothing on it except the shell and legs, as it was dark outside. All in all, I am definitely scarred for life and refuse to leave my house ever again *sarcasm*

Arizona...Could it have been a palo verde beetle, OP?

Ew, in a sketchy bathroom like that you always squat and don't let anything, absolutely anything touch you.

*crosses Arizona off map of places to visit* That sounds terrifying. I'm so happy that you managed to get it out of your clothes!

Arizona is pretty amazing, once you get past the snakes and bugs and heat. But then I LOVE the heat, and the rest aren't a big deal when you live in the city. Still, I understand the freak out, at least it wasn't a scorpion!

I feel you OP, I forgot I left my bathroom window open, only to find a bunch of 4-5in roaches near the toilet

I don't wear skirts often, but I thought they were usually pulled up during potty time.

You can do either? If it's a really long skirt I'll probably pull it down rather than up.

Question: Why not hike your skirt up, OP? Thats what I do.

wowbuddy 19

The skirt is way too long for me to be able to hike up, it drops down around my feet and then some, and I wear it high up on my hips

a fellow arizonian, wait until you come across the "fruit flies" they look like giant black bees, don't swat at them they're sort of aggressive and will bite you.

wowbuddy 19

I hate those things too- bugs are really big here and they need to stop