Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric...

By seanjohn268 - 29/11/2011 17:21 - Canada

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 364

You deserved it 66 244

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Same thing different taste

By JBone - 22/01/2009 07:02 - Canada

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 414

You deserved it 33 325

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 344

You deserved it 29 686

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 18 748

By Mak10 - 10/12/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 297

You deserved it 36 976

WTF are you doing?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 933

You deserved it 41 663

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 2 561

By TexasGirl24 - 10/09/2016 12:51 - United States - Houston

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 631

You deserved it 1 216

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 655

You deserved it 5 978

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 19:00

Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 223

You deserved it 1 610

Test inconclusive

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to test my baking skills by making a soufflé. The recipe said to beat the egg whites until stiff peaks formed. I beat them so vigorously that the mixer launched out of the bowl and left a trail of egg whites across the kitchen. I now have egg whites on the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 435

Commander223 9

Wednesday 30 November 2011 1:29

Tard....

kmiks411 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 1:29

Take then out of the mixer too

Comments

metallicshadow 16

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:02

common sense dude...YDI

ShinyMagicalHat 1

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:05

You would be canadian

TheEpicPies 15

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:12

did you get your tongue cut off! :O

maegan13 3

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:14

one day my mom wanted to know what it felt like to stick her finger in a mixer while it was on and on purpose

saddgurl 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:20

Thats um... She might need help

maegan13 3

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:22

tell me about

fenixtorador1 11

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:26

*implied facepalm* For when a facepalm just isn't enough..

schizo_teddybear 8

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:28

Haha! They had a commercial like this a couple of years ago.

Draugen 16

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:28

I can see you winning a Darwin Award sometime in your life.

schizo_teddybear 8

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:30

You, sir, are comical :)

medichick 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:31

Idiot

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 476

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 874

You deserved it 33 942

The Top

Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 557

You deserved it 3 630

Today, I informed my daughter-in-law that I’m a granny, not an unpaid, on-call 24/7 babysitter, and no, I will not be babysitting her kids all day so she can go to an all-day brunch with her similarly selfish girlfriends. She threw an actual tantrum and threatened to put me in a home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 151

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 281

You deserved it 2 893

Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 1 047

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 847

You deserved it 4 302

Today, I sent an email to several coworkers about an "incident" I had just created, asking them to look into it. It wasn't until one of them responded that I discovered that instead of "incident" I had typed "incest." I wish I could say this was a typo or autocorrect, but it was more a Freudian slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 850

Same thing different taste

WTF are you doing?

Shocking!

Test inconclusive

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