Animals: Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 654

You deserved it 5 978

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Same thing different taste

By audreyav - 30/06/2012 08:10 - United States - Dallas

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 730

You deserved it 3 461

By toothpastecat - 13/05/2011 15:41 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 628

You deserved it 8 426

By Anonymous - 28/02/2012 18:20 - United States

Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 301

You deserved it 2 820

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 10:51 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 266

You deserved it 2 743

By Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 980

You deserved it 50 037

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 716

You deserved it 18 748

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 457

You deserved it 4 674

By damn cats - 12/08/2018 22:00

Today my cat watched me clean and refill his water bowls, then shoved his fresh-out-of-the-litter-box paw in my glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 345

By nicole - 22/09/2011 10:31 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 377

You deserved it 5 423

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 13 849

Fuzzbump 5

Monday 28 March 2011 12:15

Look on the bright side! You have a cat.

spikey818 9

Monday 28 March 2011 12:09

that's hot

Comments

calebpva 0

Monday 28 March 2011 16:34

mmm...pussy breath...

ashax3 0

Monday 28 March 2011 16:45

lmfaooo; noww thatt justttt suckss :)

aliaskis 3

Monday 28 March 2011 17:32

L2type. Holding the key down to produce multiple letters is not only annoying, it makes you look retarded.

mabusoden 0

Monday 28 March 2011 16:57

so, it's probably the closet thing to pussy your getting.

x_beckster_x 0

Monday 28 March 2011 17:35

how did you even find that out?

kickles 0

Monday 28 March 2011 17:44

hahaha I found out the same thing not too long ago!! :) kitties are silly!!!

ANIMExRETARD 0

Monday 28 March 2011 18:06

at least your little sister did not use it to **********....wonder if anyone caught on with what I just did there xD

cece23_fml 10

Monday 8 September 2014 18:07

You mean more pussy licks?

alice490 0

Monday 28 March 2011 18:41

dont bitch thats cute

Capt_Oblivious 10

Monday 28 March 2011 18:47

So, how does the pussy taste?

piercedpeace 0

Monday 28 March 2011 19:18

lmao

IDidYourMomFYL 0

Monday 28 March 2011 19:22

And he spends the rest of his busy day alternating between eating dead animals and shit, then fervently licking his nuts and asshole, feel lucky he makes time for your toothbrush.

Keywords

Relatable Students Work Mental health Parenting Kids Awkward Love Embarrassing Family Intimacy Wanker First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming Cars Transportation Cops Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 123

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 776

You deserved it 5 102

The Top

Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but because of the Army I've spent only around 12 days total with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 616

You deserved it 13 411

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 902

You deserved it 5 030

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 1 572

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 745

You deserved it 59 932

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 926

You deserved it 5 499

Today, my roommate came in, slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he'd cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 943

You deserved it 3 092

Same thing different taste

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