Animals, Weird, Cats and Awkward: Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together....

By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 267

You deserved it 2 296

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 10:51 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 268

You deserved it 2 743

By jsmills92 - 21/12/2012 00:26 - United States - Cranston

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 415

You deserved it 4 443

By confusedcatlover - 06/04/2013 11:42 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 260

You deserved it 6 220

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 655

You deserved it 5 978

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 18 750

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 505

You deserved it 4 195

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 107

You deserved it 3 496

By no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no - 01/09/2013 20:04 - Greece - Athens

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 291

You deserved it 3 224

Nutritious

By Anonymous - 19/07/2020 17:01

Today, I caught my dog “cleaning” the cat’s litter box. He won’t be giving me any kisses anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 276

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 619

You deserved it 1 060

Allusivness 21

Friday 25 September 2015 14:21

No pussy jokes people.

Halpak 16

Friday 25 September 2015 14:21

I guess the cat's got his tongue

Comments

OrganicSistah 17

Friday 25 September 2015 20:49

lmfao

Benmantha 31

Friday 25 September 2015 21:03

BBFFs! ..Best butter friends forever!

disnerd4 14

Friday 25 September 2015 21:26

I really hope "licking the butter" isn't a euphemism for something....

TheNewGuy03 28

Friday 25 September 2015 22:37

Well, this can have a huge margarine for error. First it's this, then you're in a whole new Country Crock of shit.

AliGInTheHouse 24

Friday 25 September 2015 22:38

Only in Wales!

chaseafterwind82 29

Saturday 26 September 2015 0:12

I could just see this happening in a Disney cartoon...

lalaney 14

Saturday 26 September 2015 2:02

A worse FML..."I caught my cat licking butter off of my husband..."

parkerwastaken 2

Saturday 26 September 2015 3:32

Why is this an fml? Like nothing bad happened to you. F your life because of something someone did to a tub of butter?

rabid_otaku 29

Saturday 26 September 2015 6:52

That's adorable

pineapples24 11

Saturday 26 September 2015 19:38

Is that a saying or they are legit licking butter?

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Today, it's the third night in a row that I have had a sexual dream involving another woman. I'm married and when I tried talking to my husband about pleasing me better, he told me he doesn't want to go down on me because it makes him nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 565

You deserved it 367

Today, my perfect princess sister is finally going to jail where she belongs. My parents, who doted on her while dumping shit on me, blame me for “being a bad influence and not talking to the judge on her behalf.” I’m a technical engineer; what influence do they think I have in a criminal court? FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 72

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I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 3 360

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I agree, your life sucks 33 181

You deserved it 4 965

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 247

You deserved it 14 868

Today, I matched with someone on a dating app. The first thing they said to me was, "What is the chance that you are the trombone player living below me and would you please stop playing after 9 p.m.?" I am that trombone player and due to Covid I have to practice a lot in my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 1 783

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 018

You deserved it 8 239

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 627

You deserved it 3 085

Same thing different taste

Nutritious

Meow!

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