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By Anonymous - / Thursday 22 January 2015 06:41 / United States
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Watch out with that because i applied to a million jobs and got no response because my email said it was from Lord Scappin

Well whenever do you break up with her put on of those dog trackers on you at all times so your friends and family know what basement shes holding you in.

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Thought the same exact thing. HOPEFULLY the “when I break up with her” means he intends to do swiftly after making his escape plan, which I really hope doesn't include a gun. That's a recipe for spending the rest of your life in jail. Probably 99.9% joking, but hey, this is FML. So some advice for the not so bright bulbs out there: NEVER buy a gun in preparation for a volatile situation when you can avoid physically putting yourself in said situation altogether. However, using this FML as examp

You know Siri wants it she's all locked up in that phone, just waiting for you to let her out so she can stretch her legs hahaha

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"I'm sorry, but I'm not that kind of assistant." "There's no need for that." "Now, now." What iOS version do you have? Either you're a liar, or my game with electronics is shot to hell.

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