Miscellaneous: Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce....

By thatsasquee - 21/05/2011 06:42 - Canada

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 331

You deserved it 5 778

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 12:00

Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 752

You deserved it 186

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 119

Wish you were here

By taylor124 - 22/08/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 2 874

Good one, thanks

By MarkTheShark - 12/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 901

You deserved it 6 859

By Nudge23 - 26/09/2011 07:26 - Australia

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 817

You deserved it 4 659

By Poordaughter5 - 06/07/2016 17:21 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 196

You deserved it 788

Narcissistic parents strike again

By psychobunnycutie - 06/04/2021 05:00

Today, I got a call from my mom's new husband. It lasted 3 minutes and those 3 minutes were of him telling me how sad I make my mom for just existing, how jealous I make her because I'm living a life she wished she was. Turns out, she told him to call me and say that because I have her blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 100

Drama Llama

By Mike - 11/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Burlington

Today, I called my mother to say hi. She spent a whole hour and a half complaining about how I never call her, bawling and calling me "a waste of human flesh." I call her at least once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 130

By noway6000 - 03/03/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 566

You deserved it 94 746

Seasons gatherings

By What - 29/12/2022 00:00

Today, an old friend of my mom's yelled at me for "ignoring" her. I wasn't responding because she was getting my name wrong, so I assumed she was referring to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 105

3dollarbill 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 11:55

So did you leave a message or what?

Mirorbo 26

Saturday 21 May 2011 11:56

Such a lovely mother you have, darling...

Comments

Pigpen181 3

Saturday 21 May 2011 16:02

Maybe this time, you got the "message"

kiaralove53 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 16:08

Who would ever do that? It's retarded: what if an important caller called her and heard that? Embarassing!

nucky_fml 5

Saturday 21 May 2011 18:33

The OPs mom would do that

big_baker 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 16:17

well you had to do something bad for her to not want you in her life

Killerturtle 11

Saturday 21 May 2011 16:24

I don't think mommy likes you!

nucky_fml 5

Saturday 21 May 2011 18:37

Seems to me like they're in a very loving relationship

Flutist 3

Saturday 21 May 2011 20:24

It's very hard for people outside of the family to understand Op's relationship. You see, Op's mom has terminal cancer. Sophia has agreed to do a suicide pact with her. Get out of my life is the phrase to mean that shit is going down tonight. Hope that helped.