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By -insert clever nickname here- / Sunday 29 April 2012 23:56 / United States - Seattle
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But there's a bit of truth in every joke. Maybe she doesn't want to feel as if she owes the OP anything if she does go out on the date. I would think that most guys do pay for the first date. Especially, if he's the one asking her out. Doesn't have to be fancy, fancy. I know times have changed or have they?

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That's an interesting point of view, 25. My first thought was that she was a bitch or something, but now I'm wondering if maybe she could be insecure and didn't want the pressure of making sure the date went well. At the end of the day, though, OP, it's most likely one of two things - she's not interested, or she can't take a joke. And sadly, it's probably both. Sorry, man.

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She doesn't sound much fun at all. I find it hard to believe that you are "in love" with her given your description (doesn't sound like you actually like her or even know her well). You may find it pays to look past appearances.

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78 - That's a bit harsh. You can't tell if she's a whore just by this sentence. yeah, it's 2012, but guys still pay for the majority of things. That's just how it is where I'm from.

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103, I have to agree with 78 (whose attitude is very refreshing). Regardless of whether or not guys often pay, if someone will *only* spend time with you if you are paying there is a word for that.

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Is it just me being old, or is anyone else tired of hearing about someone being, "madly in love" with someone they've never been out with? If it's just me being old please direct me to where I can pick up my "Dirty ol' crotchety asshole" card. I think it gives me a discount at Wendy's.

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yeah...maybe he said it awkwardly/out of context?? ....wouldn't blame the girl though, maybe she puts all her cards on the table and wants someone who knows when it's 'serious' talk time.

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The "joke" wasn't funny. It was manipulative and sexist. I would turn down a guy who said that even if I was "madly in love" with him. Granted, I wouldn't have asked "Are you paying?" But still, YDI for being a real jerk to someone you claim to love.

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137 - First off you clearly have no sense of humor. Secondly, is it not also manipulative and and sexist to expect a man to pay for something? And even more so to ask that? Isn't the idea of the man having to ask the woman out a little sexist in and of itself?

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I'm sorry about that OP, but your date sounds very superficial if she can't take a joke like that. I thought it was funny, but some people can't handle humor. Better luck next time, bud.

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Yeah, and hopefully that "next time" would be with somebody you know better before claiming that you're "madly in love with." man, waaaay too many people keep claiming they are in love with someone they barely know these days.

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True. Don't know if the delivery of OP's joke was done correctly, but it seemed like she was only interested in a free meal. Once she realized she may need to converse and interact with OP during the dinner, she wants out.

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True- can you imagine what a loooong dinner that would be if she has no humour? Also I tend to split the bill with my boyfriend most of the time- I just think it's fairer seeing as how we're both students :)

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I disagree. Even if you're asked on the date, you should always offer to help pay, or pay for another part of the date (such as pay for the movies after diner or whatnot.) A date is not an excuse to get a free meal and anyone who views it as such is a user. The girl was clearly trying to use him and at least the OP found out before he wasted his money on her.

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Use him? Hah. Like anyone with a tiny bit of dignity would go out on a date just to get a free meal. Besides, I think she has a life, and thus has better things to do with her time than going out with random joes. Maybe if she was even slightly attracted to him, she might have smiled at the bad joke or not even asked that question at all (which she most likely asked because she had a bad experience in the past with some cheap guy who posted a FML some weeks ago...) If the OP was so madly in love with her, he should at least try and convince her to do something she wasn't quite interested in doing. He failed to impress her. He lost that chance.

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These types of dating rituals crack me up. What is wrong with just having a dinner to see if you like each other without making a point of who pays for what and whether that should equal intimacies? It's about a potential relationship, not a business transaction...

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And that is why I always offer to help pay. I don't want to have to worry about how much he has to pay for my food. Often guys won't let you pay on first dates, but you can at least be the one to pay the tip or pay for the movies after the meal (if it's diner and a movie). It's 2012. Women make their own money so old dating rituals don't really apply anymore.

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