Miscellaneous: Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section...

By mannydanny - 01/09/2011 23:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 189

You deserved it 5 034

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Same thing different taste

By proudparent - 07/12/2009 05:07 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 409

You deserved it 6 683

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 136

You deserved it 3 191

By Michael tee - 11/08/2011 20:11 - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 367

You deserved it 5 026

By Victoria - 12/07/2016 14:10

Today, my mother still refuses to acknowledge my son as her grandson, all because I had a C-section, which she says is unnatural and against God's will. I only had the C-section in the first place for health reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 639

You deserved it 1 179

By crakbbyaparently - 31/01/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 834

You deserved it 1 886

By hail - 27/12/2018 20:00

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 860

You deserved it 1 190

Thanks for nothing

By Anonymous - 12/08/2010 04:00 - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she had me in the first place, as we never get along. She replied because my father wanted me. So, I called my father to ask him the same question, he said he only wanted to have me to keep my mother around, and that didn't work, so I was a waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 943

You deserved it 4 537

By verycre8tive - 21/05/2009 07:31 - Romania

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 618

You deserved it 2 723

By LuckySperm - 12/08/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 419

You deserved it 3 130

By Kelly - 26/05/2019 20:30

Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 374

You deserved it 149

RJM_isaBeast 0

Friday 2 September 2011 8:41

Lmfao at least your dad has a sense of humor.

kaengelangeleyes 9

Friday 2 September 2011 8:54

Lmao this sounds like something my dad would say. My dad says he only had kids so he could have free slaves. :( lol

Comments

Jesuiscorey 0

Friday 2 September 2011 10:29

Lol I read it in her voice too!

cacb90 5

Friday 2 September 2011 10:51

lol.. that was funny!

yummcookie 0

Friday 2 September 2011 10:57

I remember reading this before...

sara_saturday 5

Friday 2 September 2011 11:02

reminds me of the witches' prophecy in macbeth; be wary of any man not born if a woman

Steffers183 7

Friday 2 September 2011 11:11

Win!

jazz23 2

Friday 2 September 2011 11:15

I bet he though of that for years lmao

budster1993 2

Friday 2 September 2011 11:15

That makes two of us I was surgically removed also

Nonibird 6

Friday 2 September 2011 11:54

Seriously, he's been giggling maniacally and biding his time for years with that one.

brdude 9

Friday 2 September 2011 11:58

This fmylife is made up, the author got it from crazythingsparentstext. Shame on you, lady.

daydreamer244 13

Friday 2 September 2011 11:59

well I'm sure that made you feel great about your self.

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Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 195

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 206

You deserved it 281

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 017

You deserved it 4 061

Today, my girlfriend texted me saying, "I have some Durex and want your help" so I rushed to her house. She had meant to say "Dulux". I had to help her paint her bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 896

You deserved it 13 196

Today, my mom threatened to hurt me if she finds out i’m not changing my pad in between every single class. My classes are all on opposite sides of the building and nowhere near any bathrooms. I don’t even bleed that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 78

Today, I moved into a new apartment. While moving boxes, I ran into my supervisor from work. Guess who lives across the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 139

You deserved it 938

Today, I drove for 45 minutes to find an open print shop to scan and email my signed severance agreement for the job I'd worked at for two years, so I can keep the maximum value of the severance. They specifically asked me to scan a copy, instead of mailing. Now they've blocked my email, so I can't get my severance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 86

Same thing different taste

Thanks for nothing

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