Holidays: Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized...

By nolinguist - 22/11/2009 17:39 - Austria

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 312

You deserved it 18 787

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Same thing different taste

Scheiße!

By Xerfox - 03/07/2016 18:05 - Germany - Löwenstein

Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 494

You deserved it 1 973

By traveling - 09/07/2013 11:18

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 974

You deserved it 6 412

Back home

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 19:21 - Germany - Neunkirchen

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 032

You deserved it 5 364

By Anonymous - 01/10/2013 07:30 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 335

You deserved it 4 494

Moving on

By Awesome - 17/08/2011 00:05

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 970

You deserved it 2 791

Listen up

By Pfnüselfüsel - 20/07/2023 18:00

Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 96

By nullroute - 16/02/2016 11:34 - Switzerland

Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 138

You deserved it 2 805

By Jan - 27/02/2013 04:50 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 277

You deserved it 4 320

By lostforwords - 06/08/2011 19:10 - Ireland

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 075

You deserved it 6 299

By hrmpf - 19/01/2016 14:37 - Germany - Bremen

Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 987

You deserved it 2 955

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 22 November 2009 23:07

"ich liebe meine scheide" just say that everywhere you go

badbunny 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 23:22

remember, the universal language for ordering at a restaraunt is point at the item listed.

Comments

phantomdonut 0

Monday 23 November 2009 1:06

You'll figure it out. :) There are different dialects all over the German-speaking world. Hey, I was in Saxony and I couldn't understand a thing! Especially in stores and such, they realize pretty quickly that you know only academic or "high" German, and will soon switch over to that and speak slower for you. I found that happened more often than not. Enjoy the experience! I'm SO jealous!

xzilx 1

Monday 23 November 2009 1:12

Of course its different, Germany and Austria are two different places.

Xader 0

Monday 23 November 2009 22:56

So are the US and Canada, but there is so little real difference as to be negligible.

xNephilim 18

Thursday 22 December 2011 18:09

Except that parts of Canada speak French...

rihannalover 0

Monday 23 November 2009 1:12

hey, you live in a foreign country for a couple months and you learn the language. you'll be fine, you already know german. it won't take you very long to pick up the language.

glock17wielder 0

Monday 23 November 2009 1:19

If all else fails, just talk like Arnold Schwarzenegger haha. But I'm sure you'll do fine; Austrian German is still German so you're off to a good start.

bugmenotmofo 34

Monday 23 November 2009 1:24

sherlock...

GriefBacon 0

Monday 23 November 2009 1:33

Fortunately you're in Europe, and a lot of people there do speak at least some English. Also, you might try the Austrian>English dictionary section in the bookstore. Then there is also sign language, or taking a vow of silence. Either way, this isn't really an FML.

shaniqualee 2

Monday 23 November 2009 1:35

Yeah, you get to live in a foreign country, experience a completely different culture, get to know people outside of your country, experience a completely different life style and most likely go through a life-changing experience and you're disappointed by the fact that you can't use your third-rate, piss-poor excuse for German? Yeah, eff your life big time. You should die, right now.

RipIt 0

Monday 23 November 2009 2:03

I agree, but less blunt.

Invierno 10

Monday 23 November 2009 2:03

And you didn't know this prior to your departure? 'Tis a shame... I have a feeling you'll be asking "Spreche Sie Englisch?" quite often. Have fun!

sarahbau 0

Monday 23 November 2009 4:38

Yeah - I could understand not knowing that for a week long vacation, but to not know that before moving there for 6+ months? Language classes alone are almost never enough to prepare you for how the language is actually spoken. You can read things, and people might be able to understand you, but unless you have speaking and listening experience with people from a certain region, it will be difficult.

telfie 0

Monday 23 November 2009 2:24

How the hell did you not know that Austrians speak a different dialect of German? That was cultural lesson number 1 for us: different regions of Germany, and different German speaking countries, have their own dialect and accents. That said, welcome to the 2nd language learning pitfall from hell that affects pretty much every study abroad person known to man: you didn't learn to speak the conversational language in class. You learned to speak Hochdeutsch with grammatical finesse and probably by listening to whatever is considered the "standard" German accent and lexicon. My advice, hon? Get out there and stumble your way around Austria. It'll come to you.