Health: Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't... - FML

By halfasleep - 27/03/2012 14:00 - United States - New Haven

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 674

You deserved it 14 668

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Same thing different taste

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 682

But… why?

By Fmylife - 06/07/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 256

You deserved it 120 969

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 934

You deserved it 350

By anon - 20/06/2014 05:06 - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 335

You deserved it 24 731

By Username - 09/05/2011 17:23 - China

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 227

You deserved it 10 548

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 879

You deserved it 4 463

By Anonymous - 13/08/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 327

You deserved it 56 138

By knighton16 - 17/07/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 139

You deserved it 58 638

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 1 246

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 307

You deserved it 27 703

Next

Top comments

akallaan 7

Tuesday 27 March 2012 18:51

Like a boss or a homeless man.

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 27 March 2012 20:23

My moth died, please like my comment; it's what he would've wanted :(

Comments

JimmyDevotion 4

Wednesday 28 March 2012 4:53

I have done this before. It's an involuntary reaction to throw it up, just like syphoning petrol and swallowing a bit. After both cases I learned my lesson and am very concious a about not swallowing now. FYL.

Inediblepeaches 15

Wednesday 28 March 2012 5:10

At least you survived the Listerine challenge.

koreyketchum 1

Wednesday 28 March 2012 5:34

At least you swallowed it at first! XD

melrose90210 10

Wednesday 28 March 2012 6:35

Clearly you've been taking a few too many shots lately

soupisyummy 13

Wednesday 28 March 2012 6:50

It's just mouth wash. I'm sure we've all accidentally swallowed it at one time or another O.o chill

kei1108 13

Wednesday 28 March 2012 7:39

So sorry, OP. That's awful! Similar thing happened To me when I was five... But a bit different... Keep in mind, I was a little kid-- an imaginative one at that. And I would pretend that my shampoo cap was a teacup. I wouldn't actually pour the shampoo-ey water down my throat; instead I would pour it down the side of my jaw... Well, one time, i missed and the shampoo water went directly down my throat. .... Terrible.... Luckily I never threw up. (I don't really know why not! But oh, well!!) Yep, that is the end of my story.

kitsune3 20

Wednesday 28 March 2012 8:19

O-ho...Damn! I bet that hurt...I'm so sorry, OP. At least now you'll remember not to make that mistake again, right?

matildatilda 0

Wednesday 28 March 2012 18:32

Ok

Kiru07 4

Sunday 1 April 2012 1:28

That actually happened to me before, except I was like 6 years old...

PikachuBuddy 8

Tuesday 21 August 2012 1:37

UGH! The same thing happened to me... When I was at a friends house

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 093

You deserved it 20 809

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 480

You deserved it 4 934

The Top

Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 507

You deserved it 66 265

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 809

You deserved it 2 255

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 742

You deserved it 5 661

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 053

You deserved it 9 805

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 274

You deserved it 6 986

Today, I finally figured out that when a man says, "Maybe some other time, I'll be busy then" more than once, he really means, "I don't really want to see you again. I didn't think you'd actually USE my number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 330

You deserved it 33 991