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By  JacksonCampbell  |  27

This reminds me of that one time I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by wearing a dress for my boyfriend. It may sound completely unrelated to the FML, but it totally leads in to the whole thing. M'kay, so there I was, in full drag and with freshly-braided nipples, wearing a fake beard made out of Perdix' crotch hair, and cow's blood smeared on my lips in a cheap and yet magnificent imitation of the vintage lipstick of old. Once I'd finished sexily morris-dancing to the tune of Call on Me, I lifted my dress up sexily, anticipating an immediate ravishing, and all the glorious sounds of pealing thunder that would ensue. So what does he do? He only calls me a freak for wearing my frilly edible teletubbies panties inside out on a fucking LUNAR ECLIPSE. I mean, what the dick, people? Here I am, trying to be sexy for my man, and I'M the bad guy? Is there no justice in this world? Wee-woo.

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By  JacksonCampbell  |  27

This reminds me of that one time I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by wearing a dress for my boyfriend. It may sound completely unrelated to the FML, but it totally leads in to the whole thing. M'kay, so there I was, in full drag and with freshly-braided nipples, wearing a fake beard made out of Perdix' crotch hair, and cow's blood smeared on my lips in a cheap and yet magnificent imitation of the vintage lipstick of old. Once I'd finished sexily morris-dancing to the tune of Call on Me, I lifted my dress up sexily, anticipating an immediate ravishing, and all the glorious sounds of pealing thunder that would ensue. So what does he do? He only calls me a freak for wearing my frilly edible teletubbies panties inside out on a fucking LUNAR ECLIPSE. I mean, what the dick, people? Here I am, trying to be sexy for my man, and I'M the bad guy? Is there no justice in this world? Wee-woo.

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  Doortje  |  27

Big fucking mistake man, you should NEVER wear your panties inside out. I commend you though for having the guts to share this story with us. Confessing you made a beard out of perdix' crotch hair must have taken some courage. I mean, everyone will think you're a ginger now. Also, I get the feeling the dress you were wearing was made of leather, and with your figure.. no offense, but that wasn't a smart move. If you ever want some advice how to properly turn your boyfriend on, you should send a private message to rallets. He'll help you out.

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  KingDingALing  |  27

You dumbass. You're ALWAYS supposed to wear POWER RANGER panties! Everyone knows that! When will people learn?! There's no hope for you now. Your boyfriend will dump you for Perdix because he likes the way his crotch hair looks. You might as well just go jump on a table of forks with the sharp ends pointing up.

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  KaySL  |  27

What the fuck, #1? You are one deranged son of a bitch. A FREAK, dare I say. What the hell is wrong with you that you'd post an admission like that on FML of all places? You're a 14 year old boy, for god's sake. Well, I say "boy", and yet you really can't be considered male after that confession, can you? You sicken me for even thinking to put underwear on when there's a lunar eclipse out. Don't you know that's the surest way to bring misfortune and death upon your loved ones? Also... braided nipples? Fucking sicko.

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If it was such a warm day, then why was it iced up? I have a feeling this fml was made up. Along with the other 82272373 fml's. Sorry to crush your dreams kids. and btw Santa isn't real... :)

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