Intimacy: Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest...

By chase - 25/01/2013 00:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 198

You deserved it 53 232

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Same thing different taste

By lehonj49 - 21/06/2013 16:10 - Australia - Burwood

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 845

You deserved it 3 655

A friend in need…

By anonymous - 30/06/2012 06:26 - United States - Denver

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 186

You deserved it 2 523

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 501

You deserved it 13 096

By Anonymous - 16/01/2010 16:44 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 791

You deserved it 4 217

Full support

By dumpedchick - 25/06/2009 02:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me. I was really depressed, so a couple of my friends came over to take me out to a club to cheer me up. My ex was there, partying with his friends. He came up to me and my friends, and asked my friend if she wanted to hang out sometime. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 416

You deserved it 3 652

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 731

You deserved it 5 981

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 525

You deserved it 3 188

By ashlyn - 06/08/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 512

You deserved it 3 150

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 413

You deserved it 38 882

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 187

You deserved it 21 603

jizzwold 21

Friday 25 January 2013 5:58

Because obviously the best way to feel better about your loneliness is casual sex.

MrHotShot22 6

Friday 25 January 2013 5:56

It's cause you deceived him with lies! Lies!

Comments

Maria_Obligacia 14

Saturday 26 January 2013 2:55

yeah reverse the roles - so the guy takes his pants off and his penis disappears! Just an empty space where penis, by all prior appearance was! I'd probably blurt something out in surprise too!

BananerzFresh 12

Saturday 26 January 2013 4:59

Have little boobs isn't a problem. Buy gee that must have been very awkward and embarressing.

CookieLovesBoo 16

Saturday 26 January 2013 5:27

Tig Ol' Bitties - your favorite Martian ( YouTube ) lol

crashley21 10

Saturday 26 January 2013 7:30

That's what false advertising does.

WhatYouMean 4

Saturday 26 January 2013 14:45

Oh yeah, he supposably said it 'drunkenly' haha!

khatouki 2

Sunday 27 January 2013 11:58

You should've given him another drink ! Then he'll think u r Elle macpherson .lol

urbanimpression 6

Sunday 27 January 2013 22:07

that's why you just be yourself!

symotomsofhope 5

Tuesday 29 January 2013 21:07

Dear lord it isn't "false advertising." Girls can wear push ups to feel better about themselves if they want. You're just dumb if you think all girl's boobs are the same when they take their clothes off.