Love: Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 21:23 - United States - Burlington

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 6 908

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Same thing different taste

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 913

You deserved it 4 497

By stoych - 08/10/2012 07:14 - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 088

You deserved it 5 953

By Noname - 05/03/2009 19:44 - Canada

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 367

You deserved it 53 150

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 159

You deserved it 7 018

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 341

You deserved it 3 946

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 894

You deserved it 5 125

What's that?

By breebree-0 - 04/03/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 171

You deserved it 4 392

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 429

You deserved it 8 580

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 06:00

Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 197

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 107

You deserved it 3 496

CueTheMusic 22

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:12

That's snot very good!

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 30 January 2013 1:14

Sounds like a sure-Fire way to booger- I mean bugger up a good date.

Comments

Born2die 11

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:49

fire in the hole!

halieshea1105 1

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:52

Did you not think of the air that your coughing up needs to escape your body somehow? You deserved it.

spikekutter 9

Wednesday 30 January 2013 2:53

you ahould have used a napkin

Lizzy500 16

Wednesday 30 January 2013 3:22

When you go to kiss your hunny, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it's funny, but it's snot

perdix 29

Wednesday 30 January 2013 3:37

You also discovered a way to abruptly end a date without having to jump out restaurant bathroom windows. This is going in the Man Playbook!

shrdlu 28

Wednesday 30 January 2013 3:43

Have you considered making a nightclub act out of this rare ability?

akiahara 14

Wednesday 30 January 2013 3:44

Not quite the type of facial she was expecting.

logkitty 5

Wednesday 30 January 2013 3:48

Snot rocket

Rob2342 9

Wednesday 30 January 2013 4:32

Haha unfortunate.

drkrissy1331 12

Wednesday 30 January 2013 6:50

You are supposed to cough into the bend of your elbow so u dont throw snot virus at everyone else if no tissue around. Know how far that shit travels an infects people!