Miscellaneous: Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns... - FML

By Anonymous - 07/11/2012 15:44 - United States

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 543

You deserved it 2 532

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 403

You deserved it 4 468

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 152

You deserved it 9 520

By staciedee - 01/06/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 165

You deserved it 4 949

By dinosaur - 10/01/2011 10:35 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 215

You deserved it 3 204

By ouchmyeye - 10/06/2011 04:59 - United States

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 693

You deserved it 5 122

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 19:42 - United States

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 433

You deserved it 3 339

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 3 598

Rude awakening

By oww - 15/11/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 247

You deserved it 3 394

By nosleep - 05/02/2011 00:05 - Australia

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 230

You deserved it 6 973

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 915

You deserved it 4 004

Next

Top comments

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 7 November 2012 18:47

Feeling horny?

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 7 November 2012 20:16

Well done on the puns, everyone.

Comments

goose12321 11

Wednesday 7 November 2012 19:46

Hahahahahaha

agtxero 2

Wednesday 7 November 2012 20:08

Guess that's grabbing the bull by the horns

afropuffjake 9

Wednesday 7 November 2012 20:11

Well now you've got him locked by the horns for a few days at least :-)

123man 11

Wednesday 7 November 2012 20:15

RE: "...Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am." General FML gripe: Why not just say, "...The horns came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML" Why pose it as a question that you already know the answer to? In this case it's obvious, but at other times it's somewhat ambiguous.

SkoomaKi 27

Wednesday 7 November 2012 20:32

A question encourages a response in the comments and, in my personal opinion, makes for a better read than just stating something and leaving it at that.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 7 November 2012 20:35

^This. Some of the best discussions on the comment section I've seen were about an FML that was open-ended or led to a little confusion.

lulzcoaster 3

Wednesday 7 November 2012 20:22

guess he doesnt know what studs are

Axipiter 24

Wednesday 7 November 2012 20:56

That's pretty rude. You don't know if he's good looking or not...

NagainaFier 16

Wednesday 7 November 2012 23:03

What in the hell are you... Oh. You tried to be witty/ a smartass. And failed. Congrats.

txbelle210 5

Wednesday 7 November 2012 21:24

Apparently your IQ... :)

kmt926 0

Wednesday 7 November 2012 21:39

Wow, apparently a lot of the people commenting don't understand grade A sarcasm.

erinchick1 7

Wednesday 7 November 2012 22:06

Ouch!

caplox 6

Wednesday 7 November 2012 22:09

It was obviously a dog.

emeraldisle 30

Wednesday 7 November 2012 22:52

A bull looking for its horns.

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Keywords

Love Video games Gamers Health Gross Weird Smells First Dates Parents Technology Kids Annoying Jealousy Dogs Animals AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 88

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 68 071

The Top

Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 92

Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 879

You deserved it 27 391

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 386

You deserved it 14 239

Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 351

You deserved it 22 688

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 284

You deserved it 3 979

Today, after a year and a half, I finally cut things off with my ex completely because I was starting to have feelings for someone else. Right after I cut my ex off, the other girl that I liked cut things off with me, and threw my ass in the friendzone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 1 890