Animals: Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank...

By FenRackety - 10/05/2013 12:37 - Canada

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 713

You deserved it 5 768

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 06/02/2015 05:16 - Australia - Mitcham

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 702

You deserved it 2 340

By shaviTuT - 07/02/2013 19:44 - Malaysia - Bandar Penggaram

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 440

You deserved it 2 669

By theshad - 10/09/2010 06:28 - Reserved

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 956

You deserved it 28 718

By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 02:02 - United States

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 954

You deserved it 2 576

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 579

You deserved it 3 575

By humanshield - 10/04/2016 16:49 - United States - Rockland

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 250

You deserved it 5 127

By haileelouxxx - 22/08/2014 12:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 621

You deserved it 5 423

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 769

You deserved it 10 785

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 17:05 - United States - Miami

Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch it because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 239

You deserved it 31 708

By nearly a crazy lady - 12/08/2013 11:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 460

You deserved it 3 246

txgirl2013 14

Friday 10 May 2013 18:33

"Aw you made me INK!!"

Tigerblossom 19

Friday 10 May 2013 18:35

Do you work at an aquarium or a pet shop? Because if its a pet shop you can't have the animals getting too "attached" to you.

Comments

pedinhuh 23

Friday 10 May 2013 23:21

Okay...I've heard of rape face, but this is ridiculous!

rt567 15

Friday 10 May 2013 23:58

where ever you work, seems really awesome!

Ceejay1 13

Saturday 11 May 2013 0:02

Its cool that your boss has a sense of humor.

n4ture 20

Saturday 11 May 2013 0:29

yeah boss that's how you pet them!

x_cutkiller_x_fml 6

Saturday 11 May 2013 0:50

Dr. Zoidberg, I see what you did there

M3DIC4T3 29

Saturday 11 May 2013 1:00

Tell your boss he's the only animal you see

WelcomeToAndale 13

Saturday 11 May 2013 1:17

What?

babegirlprecious 12

Saturday 11 May 2013 1:36

Hahahahehe!!

DestroyerEndsU 6

Saturday 11 May 2013 2:42

you were going down on the puss and it obviously came...

beachbum_101 16

Saturday 11 May 2013 2:46

lmao eww

Keywords

Parents Public freakouts Education Love Mother in law Miscellaneous Argument AITA Insects Fear Health Cats Skincare Jealousy Coworkers Work Gross Drugs Dogs Animals Fire Awkward Money Scams Transportation Cars Bikes Scary Neighbours Sex

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Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 129

Today, one of my co-workers, who I secretly hate, announced she and her husband were expecting. She's rather big. Without thinking, I said, "How did he manage to find your vag under those fat rolls?" I got placed on suspension and now have to attend a training on sexual harassment in the workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 3 807

The Top

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 206

You deserved it 39 886

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 616

You deserved it 56 601

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 991

You deserved it 2 946

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 443

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to add my crush on Snapchat. He thought it would be a good idea to block me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 555

You deserved it 1 733

Today, my father-in-law decided to disown myself and his son, because my husband decided to hyphenate his last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 265

Same thing different taste

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