Intimacy: Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad...

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 05:39 - United States - Long Beach

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 384

You deserved it 13 970

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Same thing different taste

In the heat of the moment

By B - 31/01/2012 20:36 - Netherlands

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 340

You deserved it 9 930

By embarrassed - 21/12/2009 00:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 316

You deserved it 29 394

By Anonymous - 11/03/2017 12:00

Today, after a brief FaceTime session, I accidentally texted my father what was meant for my boyfriend. I had to downplay it, but it still made me want to crawl 50 ft below the earth and stay there a few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 606

You deserved it 1 318

By Teamarie - 11/08/2009 15:21 - United States

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 125

You deserved it 20 989

By ruffrider - 05/02/2009 14:09 - United States

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 697

You deserved it 65 393

By thefuckedupbunny - 18/08/2019 20:00

Today, while on the train with my dad, my boyfriend sent me a message. It was a nude, and when I looked, my dad saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 887

Oh, hello

By kikuhime - 17/01/2021 02:01

Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 105

Jumping the gun

By thanksalotdickhead - 14/10/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend was planning on proposing to me tomorrow. I found out after receiving a couple of a dozen texts from friends and relatives bitching me out for not telling them. Apparently, my dad thought it would be appropriate to make the announcement for me on his Facebook page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 84

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 11/12/2012 07:20 - United States - Valencia

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 594

You deserved it 4 197

Mistaken identity

By fmlfmlfml - 20/07/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 087

You deserved it 4 912

alstbv12 13

Wednesday 17 April 2013 12:18

Only a few inches huh?

Roskosity 22

Wednesday 17 April 2013 12:03

0 to awkward in no time at all.

Comments

iLike2Teabag 27

Thursday 18 April 2013 2:35

What the hell are you smoking?

ColtonStecher 12

Thursday 18 April 2013 2:38

Crank, speed, meth, heroine, weed and this one boner medicine from Norway

whirlednews 8

Thursday 18 April 2013 4:10

You misspelled heroin.

wessly13 10

Thursday 18 April 2013 4:30

Your boyfriend is my new ******* HERO! Lol

Llamacod 11

Thursday 18 April 2013 4:41

Now that's presuming that he meant heroin, I'd like to think that he was correct and he just smokes female heros.

Bubbelz 25

Thursday 18 April 2013 4:48

88 - All day, every day. Don't we all?

ColtonStecher 12

Thursday 18 April 2013 5:00

Alright 86 just calm....... down........ You don't need to freak out.... Damn grammar Nazi

asherm 15

Thursday 18 April 2013 8:34

Only a "few"? To me that only implies 3.... Sorry OP. unless he's good with the few inches of course lol

01Ben21 10

Thursday 18 April 2013 8:43

Timing is everything.

01Ben21 10

Thursday 18 April 2013 8:44

Timing is everything.

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Family Kids Fight Love Relatable Students Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 365

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 6 990

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 379

You deserved it 3 034

Today, a police officer stopped me and told me he got an anonymous tip that I was going to kill myself. I wasnt. Protocol says he had to bring me straight to a hospital where I explained that someone was messing with me. nobody listened. Now I have a hospital bill for $2,250. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 695

You deserved it 172

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 028

You deserved it 31 125

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 438

You deserved it 2 490

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 044

You deserved it 4 041