Sex, Awkward, Motherhood and Parents: TMI mom!

TMI mom!

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 16:00

Today, my drunk mom informed me that out of all my potential brothers and sisters she’s swallowed over the years she’s "glad" I’m the one she "accidentally drooled onto her crotch, swam up her fanny and invaded" her "virgin egg." This kind of shit is why I moved out at 16 and still have a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 128

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Same thing different taste

By sorry :/ - 08/02/2015 18:28 - United States - Monroe Township

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 069

You deserved it 3 006

Nightmare fuel

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 00:20 - United States

Today, I was going through my mom's old yearbook. There was a page long note from her friend talking about my mother's crazy drunk sex stories and describing multiple sexual encounters she had while on a pool table. I am deeply scarred forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 459

You deserved it 9 976

By wtf mom - 31/05/2013 04:20 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 742

You deserved it 3 532

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 14:00

Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 135

Mum

By mummer11 - 15/11/2013 17:49 - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 019

You deserved it 3 128

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 431

You deserved it 4 140

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 110

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 141

You deserved it 1 315

Stay out of my life

By Anonymous - 16/06/2021 00:01

Today, my mom tried to worm her way back into my life by manipulating my brother into doing the dirty work for her. I pretended to swallow the bullshit and invited her over, just so I could slam the door in her face. My brother says I went too far, like he somehow forgot what a shit mom she was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 199

Main character syndrome

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 23:00

Today, my mom found out I’m in therapy and took it as an insult, like therapy was a criticism of her parenting. Um, maybe if she hadn’t spent my childhood telling me and everyone in our family that having me was an accident, that I’ve been a huge burden, and that she should have aborted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 82

BloodyButUnbowed 25

Wednesday 13 April 2022 20:13

... at least she's glad? That may well be the weirdest attempted compliment I've ever heard. Sorry, OP.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 14 April 2022 1:07

You'll need therapy indefinitely until they invent brain bleach. I'm probably going to need some help from just reading this!

Comments

BloodyButUnbowed 25

Wednesday 13 April 2022 20:13

... at least she's glad? That may well be the weirdest attempted compliment I've ever heard. Sorry, OP.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 14 April 2022 1:07

You'll need therapy indefinitely until they invent brain bleach. I'm probably going to need some help from just reading this!

SirEnigM0nk 22

Friday 15 April 2022 1:58

Right?? I was all set to order Panera but now appetite ruined. Brain bleach needed.

bobsanction 18

Thursday 14 April 2022 7:57

You're gonna need more therapists.

JasonThorn 19

Thursday 14 April 2022 16:05

...tell me, OP...why haven't you gone no-contact with this toxic excuse for an egg donor?

diraven 15

Friday 15 April 2022 7:24

OnlyFans link?

brose2417 3

Tuesday 19 April 2022 1:38

That is one of the most outlandish statements I’ve ever heard.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 21 832

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 408

You deserved it 2 826

The Top

Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 661

You deserved it 8 654

Today, while eating dinner, my girlfriend looked at me, smiled and said, "I can't tell if this is love or Stockholm Syndrome, but either way I'm happy." I'm not sure what to make of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 199

Today, I was told by my doctor that I could keep taking my Rheumatoid Arthritis meds and be severely depressed, or go off of them, possibly not be depressed, but be in extreme pain. I’m deciding between my mental health and physical health and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 89

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 269

You deserved it 17 988

Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 849

You deserved it 47 322

Today, a woman from my office called, asking who was in. Only one other woman was in the office. I couldn't remember her name, so I had to awkwardly guess random names while both women listened, obviously aware of what was going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 677