Birds and Money: The turkeys fight back - FML

The turkeys fight back

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 18:29 - United States - South Burlington

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 136

You deserved it 2 929

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Same thing different taste

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 61 961

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 657

You deserved it 3 415

By ferrarismyname - 09/04/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I was sitting shotgun in the car. A huge bug came inside, and everyone began to freak out so naturally I began to swat at it. I got the fly, but I also cracked the windshield. I paid $229 to kill a bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 560

You deserved it 23 479

By me. - 14/03/2012 15:19 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 3 856

Act of god

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 00:00

Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 85

How did you manage that?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2009 14:35 - United States

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad had been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 306

You deserved it 62 733

Look at that

By That escalated quickly - 24/06/2015 19:45 - United States - Ocean City

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 495

You deserved it 4 280

Irony at a base level

By danyelicindereli - 29/05/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 251

You deserved it 48 180

By Anonymous - 11/04/2014 20:07 - Switzerland

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 134

You deserved it 3 845

By Lindsey Taul - 22/12/2017 22:00 - United States - Granite City

Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 213

You deserved it 290

Next

Top comments

AndyPurdy 31

Monday 13 April 2015 0:09

what the actual ****

gintwinsmoore 20

Monday 13 April 2015 0:10

were u driving that fast or was the turkey moving that slow???

Comments

annika16 5

Monday 13 April 2015 5:29

Yes #2 turkeys can fly and 1+1=2

Speedy1979 13

Monday 13 April 2015 5:57

Loll!! Looks like you had a bad day

Delsanity 13

Monday 13 April 2015 6:19

Guess you having turkey for dinner then.

Hildy93 21

Monday 13 April 2015 6:39

Did the turkey shit on your windshield and it cracked it??

thatADHDdude 21

Monday 13 April 2015 6:41

Well, today, I went turkey hunting and didn't see a damn thing. FML

more4me 27

Monday 13 April 2015 12:17

Happy Thanksgiving to you! ;)

sunnyskys 25

Monday 13 April 2015 17:59

horn = turkey flirting system good to know... lol

sunnyskys 25

Monday 13 April 2015 18:07

Horn = turkey flirting. okay good to know. When you honk your horn, they jump on your car, "bitch slap" your window, and say pay me. lol sorry I felt like I had too.

McDerp 11

Monday 13 April 2015 18:47

How did you not know turkeys can fly?

sunnyskys 25

Monday 13 April 2015 19:36

I didnt

Matheo_fml 21

Monday 13 April 2015 21:31

I'm sorry OP, but WAHHHAHAHAHA!!!

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Keywords

Work Management Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Education Public freakouts Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

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Today, on my friend's birthday, I met a guy I really liked at a club, and he asked me to go home with him. At 2 a.m., my friend called but I missed her calls. When I woke up, she'd texted me pictures of all my things that I had at her place thrown outside in the snow. All because I didn’t go home with her. FML

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You deserved it 1 202

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The Top

Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 601

You deserved it 4 371

Today, I came back home from uni for the first time in 9 months. Since I started living on my own, I gave up all alcohol, sodas, and animal products. My family was so eager to see me that even cousins and uncles were there. For the "intervention". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 272

You deserved it 514

Today, my daughter had an anxiety attack. Why? Because I told her she needs to be making her bed every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 369

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 034

You deserved it 2 753

Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 377

You deserved it 4 192

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 182

You deserved it 12 628