Sex, Family, Weird and Music: The King

The King

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 02:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he becomes insatiably horny whenever he hears "Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley. It turns out that was the song on the radio when he was losing his virginity, when he was 16, with his sister. He insists it’s not weird because their parents are half-siblings. I can’t even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 017

You deserved it 271

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/09/2015 17:07 - United States - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 561

You deserved it 6 085

Right Said Fred

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 22:02

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 2 007

By tkr - 06/02/2012 03:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 933

You deserved it 39 945

Relax

By Anonymoosey - 19/02/2012 23:47 - Canada

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 266

You deserved it 5 312

Not fair at all

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 20:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 327

You deserved it 61 814

By RollieCollieUSA - 30/01/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 723

You deserved it 6 660

Poor old Johnny

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 06:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I treated my adult daughter to a vintage record player to celebrate three months of sobriety. Now whenever her boyfriend comes over, they crank up the volume on my old vinyls, and I now have to associate Johnny Cash's "Get Rhythm" with them screwing like rabbits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 328

By seriouslystupid - 24/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I got it on for the first time with a guy I've been dating. He had to turn the TV up loud so that his mom couldn't hear anything. I'm 20 years old and I lost my virginity with Disney Channel blaring in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 534

You deserved it 23 165

By Anonymous - 03/12/2014 17:06 - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 596

You deserved it 46 377

I now pronounce you…

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 10:00

Today, while registering to get married, my fiancé and I discovered that we’re already married and have been since our first foreign holiday together, to Vegas, when we got very drunk. Elvis was there. See where I’m going with this? Our parents are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 989

Khay33 12

Saturday 3 December 2022 2:04

Sweet Home Alabama!

cuz803 44

Saturday 3 December 2022 4:00

Oh hell no. RUN! RUN!! RUN!!!!!!!

Comments

Khay33 12

Saturday 3 December 2022 2:04

Sweet Home Alabama!

Hangryko 29

Saturday 3 December 2022 2:34

I'm sure you meant "ex-boyfriend."

lukey101 23

Saturday 3 December 2022 2:37

Nothing wrong with a bit of incest, so long as you keep it in the family 😉

tiptoppc 19

Saturday 3 December 2022 20:02

Incest: fun the whole family can partake in! Because family that lays together, stays together. Paddle faster, I hear banjos!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 3 December 2022 3:28

Ick factor off the charts on this one! With his genetics, your children might end up as a bunch of r-words. Dump him!

cuz803 44

Saturday 3 December 2022 4:00

Oh hell no. RUN! RUN!! RUN!!!!!!!

Jesse Duff 15

Saturday 3 December 2022 4:12

so your done...either way, you cant compete with family

JackWood 20

Saturday 3 December 2022 5:40

His reasoning is if half siblings can do it, then whole siblings can do it too. Hope you never have children with this man.

mccuish 25

Saturday 3 December 2022 9:53

Get the **** out of there

Anderling 32

Saturday 3 December 2022 12:38

Girl you need to drop everything and run

BurnInDemonFire 33

Sunday 4 December 2022 2:16

I think it's time he went from "Jailhouse Rock" to "Jailhouse Bitch". And throw in the rest of those inbred weirdos for good measure.

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Family Kids Fight Love Relatable Students Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Revenge Food Cats

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I agree, your life sucks 44 740

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You deserved it 3 619

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You deserved it 3 777