Love, Video games, Break-ups and My ex: Thanks, I guess - FML

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 10:08 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 149

You deserved it 8 505

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Mario Kart is serious business

By Anonymous - 25/08/2014 05:44 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 832

You deserved it 8 595

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 099

You deserved it 4 641

By Vampire Teabag - 12/02/2015 16:25 - United States - El Paso

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 804

You deserved it 3 470

Domestic

By baberuth - 19/06/2015 22:21 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 853

You deserved it 4 497

By Ari - 16/06/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 3 711

By thatCanadianGuy7 - 29/06/2009 19:55 - Canada

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 954

You deserved it 5 041

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 016

You deserved it 8 832

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 400

You deserved it 3 503

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 076

You deserved it 4 184

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 885

You deserved it 3 060

Next

Top comments

Stepherrss 0

Monday 3 January 2011 19:37

& This is a FML why? Were you expecting your EX to stay the night and **** your brains out? Grow up, she came over as a friend, to help out, not to screw you to make you feel better.

PhillyFox 0

Monday 3 January 2011 18:52

And then you realized there's a reason she's your ex.

Comments

TheLetterZero 7

Tuesday 4 January 2011 2:09

Funny. My cousin (female) beats me at Mario Kart every time. Are girls naturally better at Mario Kart than guys? I'm getting suspicious...

cH1N1chunga 5

Tuesday 4 January 2011 4:10

it could be worse she could have beaten u in black ops with 0-7500

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Tuesday 4 January 2011 4:11

Boyfriend: *loses for the 100th straight time* Girlfriend: I think I've kicked your ass enough. It's time i hit the ol' dusty trail. *puts hat on and leaves*

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Tuesday 4 January 2011 4:20

Getting girls is like catching Pokemon! If you don't weaken that pokemon enough you'll have a harder time catching it! Even though you could just use your Master Ball and catch it without doubt. Use your Master Ball to win her back!

kateindeed 5

Tuesday 4 January 2011 8:21

I swear, if one more guy throws his master ball at me, I'm calling the cops.

Illyssa_fml 4

Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:56

Hahaha! Is that why you broke up with her? Cuz she beat you at Mario Cart all the time? hahaha

Illyssa_fml 4

Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:58

Kart*

tiredofthis54 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 19:49

haha mariokart

Zebidee 8

Tuesday 4 January 2011 22:54

For some reason, I pictured Sirin as the ex-girlfriend in this story...

Sirin_fml 46

Tuesday 4 January 2011 23:02

To be fair, I'd be beating him over the head with the games console instead.

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Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relationship advice Relatable Mental health Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Gifts Mother in law Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird AITA Argument Fear Insects

The Top

Today, my ex asked me to return a sweater he'd gifted me back in the day. He didn’t even thank me, just said he’d catch me at lunch but never did. Work was tedious yet even then I didn’t leave without shooting him a goodbye text, only for him to say, “Oh my bad, I already left.” I still love him but it’s clearly one-sided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 588

Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 161

The Top

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 653

You deserved it 5 477

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 8 920

Today, once again someone pointed out how much my brother and boyfriend look alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 521

You deserved it 2 670

Today, a guy diagnosed with ALS and months to live told me he didn’t envy my job. Definitely including this on my end of year performance review… FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 101

Today, I had a coworker shout profanities at me and say he was going to punch me in the face. HR tells me they have a no tolerance policy, and I needed to stop being passive aggressive. He's the active aggressor with anger problems, but who isn't being reprimand, FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 101

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 638

You deserved it 10 577