Considering practically every comment is "same here", if any of you went to jail you'd just die

If you are at home, you should turn your music on in the bathroom or turn on the water so that way the noise can mask the sound. If you decide to do the water well you might want to pitch in a little more for the water bill

same here, just turn on the water in the sink and let it run while you do your business, no one will hear it

My trick is to flush while going to the bathroom so they can't hear anything and then flush again after.

My classmates have the same fear as you do. They usually just run the sink, seems to help :-)

Can you hear me now?

You're a nervous pooer! (Scrubs)

It's actually quite a common dilemma, don't feel too bad. I need quiet while on the pot, I have to zone out to relax my muscles enough.

Why don't you just turn the sink on? Or put the fan on ?

get some toilet roll and put it in the toilet before you pee/poo as a buffer - just be careful not to block the toilet doing this.