Love: Sexy time

Sexy time

By Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 477

You deserved it 16 099

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Same thing different taste

By Bawo - 02/06/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 061

You deserved it 33 972

By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 813

You deserved it 29 349

You, your sex is on fire

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 18:00

Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 137

By hunchback of notre bite - 09/08/2013 22:23 - Korea, Republic of

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 448

You deserved it 7 417

By Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 559

You deserved it 15 519

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 546

By blocked_by_fire - 17/04/2012 18:13 - United States - Pullman

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 4 511

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 539

You deserved it 14 903

By LadySteph12 - 29/10/2009 00:53 - Canada

Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 366

You deserved it 3 336

By cfaul001 - 29/02/2012 17:41 - United States

Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 211

You deserved it 27 757

Girlytoes 6

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:26

He probably thought that was hot(;

love_rose18 9

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:28

This girl is on fire!!!!

Comments

thatnucca 36

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:56

Let it burn.. Let it burn... Gotta let it burn...

JoseIsAdork 31

Saturday 3 August 2013 20:08

I would have rolled with it personally and burst into singing the song "this girl is on fiiire" haha. sorry op

doitlikeabrotha 10

Saturday 3 August 2013 20:29

At least you had a source of extinguish close by

vicky4321 6

Saturday 3 August 2013 20:29

Your whole plan went up in flames.

blvcklvnd69 14

Saturday 3 August 2013 20:41

sounds like a pdiddy and kevin hart party :o

Cindy_Smiles 12

Saturday 3 August 2013 20:53

A+ for effort

cmoney1992 9

Saturday 3 August 2013 20:57

Dunk your head in the water and get back to work!

gAt_d 26

Saturday 3 August 2013 21:06

Nothing sexier than the aroma of burnt hair!

crisanba 18

Saturday 3 August 2013 21:09

Michael Jackson Pepsi commercial

HannahLouise96 13

Saturday 3 August 2013 21:23

Smokin'.

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Awkward Shopping My ex Relatable Racism Family Kids AITA Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cute Cats Animals Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Alcohol Coworkers Psychology Mental health Health Neighbours Cops Stressed out Parents Scary

The Top

Today, my boyfriend doesn’t like to go out, like at all. I went on a cruise earlier this year and met this guy from my school; we danced together, we talked all night long, and it was amazing. It's been nine months since, and I still haven’t got over it. I'm now questioning my entire 3-year relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 271

Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 610

The Top

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 820

You deserved it 2 662

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 105

You deserved it 2 315

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 2 722

Today, on my way to work, I came across a road accident. I approached the victims and administered first aid, but when the paramedics arrived, they told the cops to take the "cosplayer" away. I'm the E.R. doctor of the nearby hospital. I later had to work with these S.O.B.s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 726

You deserved it 229

Today, I was messing around in computer class when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 212

You deserved it 27 003

Today, I showed my fiancé the darling Tinkerbell hoodie I'd bought myself during the weekend. Instead of liking it as I'd hoped, he told me my childish wardrobe was embarrassing, and he wasn't going to be seen in public with me until I wore something different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 936

You deserved it 51 924

Sexy time

Same thing different taste

You, your sex is on fire

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

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