Transportation and Money: Rumbled

Rumbled

By nthor - 11/03/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, a man on the train asked me if I had any change. I quickly responded with, "No habla ingles." He then tapped me on the shoulder and said, "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 697

You deserved it 141 226

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 080

You deserved it 75 580

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:46 - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 620

You deserved it 3 699

By Quackadoodledoo - 24/04/2014 02:21 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 188

You deserved it 5 403

By Malíya - 04/05/2015 21:02 - United States - Perth Amboy

Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 2 268

What did I do?

By Gringo - 29/03/2022 22:00

Today, a gorgeous woman on a train told her friend she thought I was hot in Spanish, assuming I was a dumb gringo tourist. In fact, I speak Spanish fluently, my wife is Colombian, and she was standing right next to me. My wife can’t rationalize my street value, and made me sleep on the fold out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 253

Chill

By Anonymous - 04/10/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, I was chatting to a cashier I see quite a lot, trying to be as charming and as unsmarmy as possible. When she asked if I wanted the receipt, I panicked and said, "No thanks, I don’t believe in paper." She looked at me like I was an alien. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 442

By language barriers - 12/02/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 231

You deserved it 5 213

By Ms. Heartless - 16/12/2011 00:37 - United States

Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 592

You deserved it 13 462

By News-print Face Kate - 18/07/2012 16:37 - United Kingdom

Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 1 879

By Anon - 26/05/2009 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 093

You deserved it 4 177

wesayxsummer 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 20:05

it would also be more believable if you used correct grammar.

cady18 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 20:08

would've also been more believable if you spoke correct spanish.

Comments

teentee401 36

Tuesday 14 May 2013 23:43

*No hablo ingles If you're going to be a lying douche, at least be a smart lying douche

WumbologyMajor 3

Friday 17 May 2013 1:32

or if you could spell "ingles" right

Joshido 17

Thursday 11 July 2013 5:26

*ingles

JoseIsAdork 31

Thursday 5 September 2013 4:24

also would have been much more believable had you said it correctly in Spanish...

AssassinBug 15

Thursday 28 November 2013 5:30

You should have said "Yo puedo leer, no puedo hablar".

Ilikepie82479 20

Thursday 4 September 2014 6:26

^"I can read, I can't speak"

xxARIxx 5

Thursday 5 December 2013 1:47

A polite "No, sorry." Would have sufficed.

kingbrizo 24

Saturday 28 December 2013 19:47

hablo* inglés* not that spelling counts in verbal spanish, but habla is he/she/you (formal) talks/speaks hablo is i talk/speak

TechnoStew 21

Wednesday 5 March 2014 5:10

No hablo ingles. Learn the ******* language. Maltido.

SexyMexi21 23

Saturday 7 June 2014 23:18

Yeah and if you could actually spell it correctly.

BrettB321 15

Tuesday 8 July 2014 8:36

Wouldve been even more believable if you said it right too.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 435

You deserved it 7 439

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer had got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 182

You deserved it 46 374

The Top

Today, it's day three of my dad not shutting up and still complaining about the Super Bowl commercials being "too woke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 228

Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 749

You deserved it 1 844

Today, I ordered in a kebab and decided to play Billy Ocean on full blast as I waited. The delivery driver reached the lobby, and as I run down, I left my keys behind. So here I am, eating a kebab, outside my house, whilst "Love Really Hurts Without You" plays on the other end of the door. The person with the keys comes in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 810

Today, after months of ultrasounds and blood tests, I found out that the pain I've been feeling in my ovaries is actually just sore muscles from flicking my bean every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 1 129

Today, I have a massive boil on my genitals. I can't move, sit, or do anything without it flaring up. It's basically a constant dull pain on my nuts that gets worse when I move. No, I do not have genital warts, I just have horrible skin problems. This isn't the first time it's happened, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 104

Today, after I had an excellent one night stand with a guy yesterday, I saw him at work. He was a client my boss was trying to talk into a deal. The guy recognised me and accused my boss of sending me to seduce him into signing the contract. The deal fell apart and my boss is livid with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 366

You deserved it 652

Rumbled

Same thing different taste

What did I do?

Chill

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