Gross and Health: Pleased to meet you - FML

Pleased to meet you

By Eww - 05/10/2014 17:48 - United States - Salem

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 047

You deserved it 3 145

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Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 793

You deserved it 345

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 778

You deserved it 2 972

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 904

You deserved it 6 672

By FedExMan - 11/08/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 708

You deserved it 2 621

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 429

You deserved it 4 435

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 315

You deserved it 8 723

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 446

You deserved it 8 849

By hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 307

You deserved it 8 858

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 880

You deserved it 7 257

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 923

You deserved it 38 531

Next

Top comments

ochomurph 8

Sunday 5 October 2014 23:02

Find her and throw up on her

SamSwebb 24

Sunday 5 October 2014 23:04

I would have probably thrown up on her in response from the smell alone ... Thats disgusting! FYL

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 5 October 2014 23:33

Drunk perhaps?

Capt_Obvious 11

Sunday 5 October 2014 23:59

I just how this wasn't in the Dallas area...?!

Owltime22 12

Wednesday 8 October 2014 6:35

I see that you are trying to hint that its Ebola, but seriously ( not just telling you but to everyone) just because someone is sick doesn't automatically mean its Ebola. And for the people trying to be funny or cute, guess what, your not. This is a very serious matter, and unless your trying to tell people how to prevent it or how to help the cure, its best not to spread worry to everyone.

Scarylizard1798 23

Sunday 5 October 2014 23:59

Bitches be trippin ??

thefmlman2011 36

Monday 6 October 2014 0:02

That's nasty

kittyfrozen 19

Monday 6 October 2014 0:08

give her a tight hug immediately!

amiran_09 10

Monday 6 October 2014 0:31

Ebola! ?

siggy_mcsigx 22

Monday 6 October 2014 1:01

Sounds like she was drunk

hk1998 8

Monday 6 October 2014 1:18

Well she seems like a pleasant and caring person

vikky538 28

Monday 6 October 2014 1:46

I donno who you are and where you are but I will find you.....And I am gonna throw up on you ---- quote...

captainsmegma 12

Monday 6 October 2014 2:03

Could you at least tell what she had to eat? Then you'd be able to pick an appropriate wine to go with it.

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The Top

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 261

Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, I realized that I haven’t showered in a week. I feel disgusted that I took so long to notice, it didn’t even cross my mind at all. Due to my depression, I’ve lost all motivation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 220

Today, on holiday in Japan, I got confused and booked a room in a Love Hotel. I’m single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 92

Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happened to be my 18 year-old sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 918

You deserved it 5 023

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 901

You deserved it 10 713

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 190

You deserved it 3 881

Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 043

You deserved it 4 525