Miscellaneous: Ouch

Ouch

By lifesmells - 27/06/2009 00:29 - Canada

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 829

You deserved it 13 105

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Same thing different taste

Smooth blend

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 16:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 339

Bad omen

By cutiepatootie - 03/01/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, I was getting ready for a party when I accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 063

You deserved it 6 716

By JBone - 22/01/2009 07:02 - Canada

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 414

You deserved it 33 325

Kitchen nightmares

By Accident-prone af - 07/07/2020 20:02

Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 201

Blasted

By Fauna - 09/05/2019 04:00

Today, I started to make a protein shake to have a healthy breakfast. It exploded. Turns out, my mom lost the rubber gasket and put the blender back, so it looked ready to use. By the time I cleaned it all up, it was time for me to leave for work. I'm now eating chips from the vending machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 748

You deserved it 172

By TexasGirl24 - 10/09/2016 12:51 - United States - Houston

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 631

You deserved it 1 216

By Anonymous - 08/02/2016 17:43 - Austria

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 895

You deserved it 1 786

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 404

You deserved it 4 468

By Anonymous - 28/09/2016 13:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 261

You deserved it 2 498

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 05:39 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 643

You deserved it 38 430

Seti_fml 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 10:06

haven't you ever seen someone use a blender before? did you ever wonder why they always had a hand on the top of it? lol i hate to sound so mean, but you seriously deserve it... i mean really! thats a lack of common sense right there

crazy_cat_lady24 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 10:37

You didn't clean your kitchen for weeks?

Comments

Postlude 1

Saturday 27 June 2009 14:06

While I didn't get attacked by my blender, I attempted to make a smoothie last week. When I turned the jar, the base didn't come with it, nor did the blade, and smoothie poured out the now-open hole in the bottom of the glass. I was sort of lost for words, and I couldn't fix it. >:( Blenders are horrifying.. get a nice hand-blender. :V

07_MKV 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 14:20

Lol, this one also made my day

AntiChrist7 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 14:34

YDI twice. for being an idiot, and for having a boyfriend as idiot. Please don't make kids

Kyothine 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 15:01

Today, I learned that using this as an introduction is not clever, witty, or smart.

lmmmr 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 16:07

A lot like your comment, then.

xxXChiiXxx 2

Saturday 27 June 2009 16:18

If you actually READ the rules before commenting, you'd know that you HAVE TO WRITE TODAY whenever you begin an FML.

Kyothine 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 17:30

Today, I learned that both of you are idiots. I was talking about "I learned" not "Today,"

JordoK 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 15:41

Hahahahaha, Good job to the boyfriend for making this FML very, very funny :P

ihatestupidppl 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 15:49

Every blender I've ever used has had a plastic jar. I don't think a glass one, full of smoothie crap, would be light enough to FLY off without giving you at least a few seconds to get out of the way. And while I'm sure being hit by a flying blender jar would hurt, its not like it's gonna leave you in the hospital clinging to life. (You were obviously well enough to post an FML about it.) YDI, if you're old enough to have a boyfriend, you're old enough to learn to use kitchen appliances properly. And LOL at your boyfriend. (And for the people who think anyone who finds the boyfriend funny is obviously a dude, well, I'm very much female, just one who is fully capable of making smoothies =] )

iBreezy92192 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 15:51

Okay. You really should know how to work a blender. Lol. It really isn't that hard. Lol You prolly just had one of those moments if you get what im saying. Lol. But If my boyfriend asked if i was makin him a smoothie, i'm not really sure if i would laugh hysterically, or beyond pissed. Tell him to f*** off and make his own damn smoothie!!