Love: Ouch!

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 964

You deserved it 5 269

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Same thing different taste

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 105

You deserved it 41 480

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 568

You deserved it 4 531

By nosleep - 05/02/2011 00:05 - Australia

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 233

You deserved it 6 973

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 961

You deserved it 12 161

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 802

You deserved it 35 998

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 127

Sleep punching is a thing

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 02:00

Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 102

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 443

You deserved it 806

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 880

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 386

Zenma 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 9:31

I smell win(d).

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 30 September 2009 9:35

What... the ****?

Comments

lxclark 17

Wednesday 24 February 2010 2:38

Be glad she didn't shit.

Lisimal 7

Sunday 23 May 2010 6:52

Gas-fueled punch. I see another Frijoles de la Hoya in the making!

NoobFaiL 0

Tuesday 7 September 2010 14:30

Lmaooo I cud sooo imagine this: *faaaaart* *BOOM!!* THE *** WAS THAT?!?!?!? D=

Razabin 15

Saturday 9 October 2010 11:19

ahahaha Dang... you should have smashed her afterwards

PinkYellowBlue 0

Tuesday 19 October 2010 20:01

LMFAO........ "gassy time"..that tickled me ^_^

lovelyDay020891_fml 4

Wednesday 1 December 2010 21:47

haha brian from family guy...

dajon221 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 15:03

omg that's terrible

dearing94 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 21:41

Literally, still laughing. Favored this. :)

Emilykate98 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:14

that made me lol so hard!!!

dearing94 0

Friday 1 April 2011 6:10

this makes me laugh everytime(:

Keywords

Love Instagram Social Media Money Shopping AITA Awkward Anxiety Intimacy Sex Health Wanker DIY Relatable Kids Miscellaneous Weather Cars Work Embarrassing Transportation Jealousy Family Vacation Language Cute Students Education Parents First Dates

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Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 346

You deserved it 3 858

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said, "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 834

You deserved it 3 965

The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 601

You deserved it 3 760

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 889

You deserved it 3 750

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 878

You deserved it 5 947

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 318

You deserved it 2 977

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 505

You deserved it 3 220

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 123

You deserved it 3 865

Ouch!

Same thing different taste

Love hurts

Sleep punching is a thing

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