Health: No joking please - FML

No joking please

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 02:08 - United States

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked, "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 976

You deserved it 7 709

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Same thing different taste

By actually just constipated.. and stupid - 04/03/2015 15:03 - Tunisia

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 356

You deserved it 37 966

By youreajoker - 10/11/2010 10:28 - Australia

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 553

You deserved it 19 657

By Anonymous - 16/08/2018 23:37

Today, I had a CT scan done after hitting my head, for fear of a concussion. Good news: no concussion. Bad news: the tumor they "accidentally" found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 805

You deserved it 222

By whovian221b - 25/08/2015 22:46 - United States

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 960

You deserved it 2 141

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:52 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 503

You deserved it 74 845

Dodged a bullet

By mama - 30/06/2019 07:09

Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 023

You deserved it 413

Funny, thanks

By picklebug - 26/07/2013 16:25 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 717

You deserved it 10 283

By Anonymous - 12/10/2015 02:02 - United States

Today, I went to the hospital for a scan. The tech went wide-eyed and stared at his screen in horror before realizing I could see him. He wouldn't tell me what he saw, apparently only my doctor is allowed to do that. So now I have to wait for god knows how long to get my results back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 037

You deserved it 1 670

By Anonymous - 21/09/2012 04:51 - United States

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 451

You deserved it 3 768

By mark807 - 28/04/2012 06:52 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 2 165

Next

Top comments

MarryMeFry 10

Tuesday 18 January 2011 8:54

Martian babies don't show up on the pregnancy tests.

iranoutofnames 6

Tuesday 18 January 2011 8:54

you have an awesome sense of humor. I love you

Comments

insomniac8400 13

Saturday 27 October 2012 16:44

never crack a stupid joke in a hospital...

lilsawty2 8

Friday 1 February 2013 3:43

Actually I think the lesson here is never crack a bad joke in a hospital...

The_Khan 12

Wednesday 28 May 2014 14:30

Decent joke and good advice :)

imonheretoooften 16

Wednesday 8 July 2015 9:55

I made a similar joke to a local TSA agent I see every time I'm at the airport. He saw a lot more of me after I made that joke.

lucasj23 11

Monday 23 April 2018 5:20

I'm pretty sure they didnt do a brain scan for just one comment.

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

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