Intimacy: Mystery - FML

Mystery

By Anonymous - 19/11/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, I signed for a delivery for my mom and something inside started to vibrate. I can't leave it because if she gets home and it's still vibrating she'll know I know what it is, but if I open it to turn it off, she'll know I've opened it and know what it is. Someone help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 875

You deserved it 378

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 13/03/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 282

You deserved it 5 337

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 503

You deserved it 5 169

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 17:11 - Belgium

Spicy

Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 559

You deserved it 10 925

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 12:00

Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 415

My package

By Nikki - 20/11/2019 05:00

Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 714

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Spicy

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 262

By Ouch - 21/01/2012 00:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 804

You deserved it 9 340

Shopping fun

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 22:59

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 2 435

By Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 397

You deserved it 1 581

Then it dawned on me…

By Bad dad - 14/08/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 191

Next

Top comments

Leia Griffey 3

Monday 19 November 2018 5:16

She wont know you know what it is. couldve started vibrating after you signed for it. just set it in her room and walk away, man! walk away

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Monday 19 November 2018 5:12

let it run and pray the batteries give out

Comments

Cowgirl1293 26

Tuesday 20 November 2018 4:46

I'm curious to know what you did in this situation, and I'm curious to know what exactly was in the box.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 23 November 2018 19:36

I'm wondering why it started vibrating in the first place. No vibrator I've ever gotten has come WITH batteries!

jbuckets_404 38

Saturday 24 November 2018 16:57

Taurus_ChicKa, I bet that YOU've cum with batteries in your vibrator though, right? ;-)

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Racism Family Kids AITA Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cute Cats Animals Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Psychology Mental health Health Neighbours Cops Parents Scary Stressed out

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 81

Today, I handed in my resignation letter after over three and a half years working at the company. My manager is angry with me, since we returned from an overseas business trip yesterday, and why didn't I inform her before the trip. She now wants me to pay all costs of trip before leaving the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 016

You deserved it 1 217

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 92

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 186

You deserved it 5 686

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I agree, your life sucks 6 085

You deserved it 637

Today, I agreed to catsit for a friend. Her cat rode back to my house sitting on my shoulder in the car. As soon as I opened the door, he jumped out and ran off into the woods. It's been 2 1/2 hours and not even food will entice him back to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 725

You deserved it 3 350

Today, I was on the plane asleep. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone on the plane laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 082

You deserved it 30 511

Today, I had a talk with my roommate that last semester my grades took a bit because he stays up late every night playing video games. And then asked him about playing less, so I can get more sleep. Today also, he gave me a pair of ear plugs and asked if they would solve the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 889