Wanker and Intimacy: MY EARS! MY EARS!

MY EARS! MY EARS!

By ashbeat - 01/01/2013 15:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 611

You deserved it 4 398

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

By idontwanttoknow - 16/06/2013 11:37 - United States

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 098

You deserved it 6 905

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 795

You deserved it 12 082

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 419

You deserved it 2 724

Post-it time

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 18:00

Today, I share a room with a person who masturbates noisily every morning at 5 a.m. like clockwork. Only I can't really say anything, because she's literally deaf. I wish she could hear herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 195

By SleepyKirsty - 09/06/2009 13:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 725

You deserved it 5 714

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 046

You deserved it 897

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 668

You deserved it 4 390

I CAN HEAR YOU

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 14:02 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, as usual, my flatmate is so loud when talking face to face that my ears and head rattle. I can't say anything because how dare I suggest there's anything wrong with my roommate's hearing. Yet nobody else talks this loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 116

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 09/06/2015 20:52 - Ireland

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 690

You deserved it 2 839

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 782

You deserved it 4 921

ollie179 21

Tuesday 1 January 2013 19:31

Well at least he's not saying, "You like that? HUH? DO YA?" "NO! Please stop! AAAAHHHH!" That would be awkward.

heythere131630 9

Tuesday 1 January 2013 19:27

You live with Golem???

Comments

Neekadeek 2

Tuesday 1 January 2013 23:50

He's probably listening to ****

TrueTriage 16

Tuesday 1 January 2013 23:50

Morehand freeman

enigma575 2

Wednesday 2 January 2013 4:25

If your male just casual be like dude wtf, if your female go in and give it a wank take one for the team

Satoaoi 13

Wednesday 2 January 2013 6:35

Record it next time. tell him you will play it to everyone if he doesn't shut the he'll up next time. jk but it's a thought.

FaithDawson 8

Wednesday 2 January 2013 6:46

A pimp named Slick Palm and his 5 prostitutes.

ohitsdaniella 7

Wednesday 2 January 2013 7:33

His dick has it's own personality :o

diva239 8

Wednesday 2 January 2013 7:37

Oh wow that's so embarrasing!

aplarson2012 6

Wednesday 2 January 2013 7:41

Well does he like it?!?

redfox452 11

Wednesday 2 January 2013 7:46

Maybe he wants you to hear him

Perfectg 9

Wednesday 2 January 2013 8:05

thats nasty..

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Here's the latest video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com, enjoy! Kay Akana, co-founder of 10secondtraumas.com, is also a stand-up comedian in LA. Do go and check out her performances, she did manage to make us lot laugh! ...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 12

Today, one of my co-workers, who I secretly hate, announced she and her husband were expecting. She's rather big. Without thinking, I said, "How did he manage to find your vag under those fat rolls?" I got placed on suspension and now have to attend a training on sexual harassment in the workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 3 799

The Top

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 000

You deserved it 3 570

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 575

You deserved it 9 399

Today, a guy sent me, “I miss you.” I invited him to come over for a movie, but he then said, “I’m down for that, but I expect you to hook up with me.” I guess that’s all I’m good for? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 234

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 481

You deserved it 7 178

Today, I was scolding my 8 year-old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight "A"s like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair. When I asked why, he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 915

You deserved it 66 539

Today, after I ran and just caught the train home after work, it took me 4 stops to realise I had driven to work that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 746

You deserved it 893