Mixed messages

By mook - 15/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesn't know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 252
You deserved it 5 688
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Top comments

Gingerly 0

That's why you don't get involved in other peoples' business. But FYL because you reall were trying to help the kid.

183 9
BLooDYxNiGHTS 0

F the kid's life. D: That's so shitty for him. His parents should accept him :/

154 10

Comments

Gesundheit 0

Actually, if the OP encouraged the kid to come out, it's very likely that he did say it was okay to be gay. It wouldn't be an FML if they weren't worried about what the dad might do if he found out that his son was gay. Also, it's very hard to "straighten out" a gay kid, because it's who they are. Some will just pretend to "see the error of their ways" just so their family will **** off.

1 1
Creston 0

#179: You're the one who needs straightening out. One comment,three names for the homosexual. Gay might be fine, but 'fairy' and 'queer'? They are not weird in the head; they are simply attracted more towards the same gender than the opposite. If you find them weird and out of the norm, did you even stop and think that they might think that you're the one who's weird for being attracted to the opposite gender? Because to them, what you're doing is freaky, weird, and out of the norm. Maybe YOU'RE the queer, to them. It's always the perspective.

2 0
Lonely_Lez 0

191, I completely agree with you, but I feel it necessary to say that queer is an accepted term for non-heterosexual persons now, though I do not agree with the sentiment that 179 used it with.

0 0
Creston 0

I know, I was referring to the context he was using it in. Queer means weird literally, so I just went with that. And in some places '******' is apparently accepted as the norm. Probably has to do with where we live and such. Perspective. But thank you. (Though, I personally feel that there shouldn't be such barriers in society that seperates everyone. Really, we're all humans. We're all made of atoms and molecules. At the heart of it, we're really the same. I just wish more people would realise and accept that...)

0 0
your_mother 0

**** HOMOPHOBES

2 2
CharlieMitsuki 0

That guy is a jerk and I feel for the son. I have a friend who is in the same boat. Her dad is literally like a pointy hat and white sheet away from being a klan member. She is a lesbian and has a girlfriend. Her mom and most of her family knows about it. Her dad thinks they are "friends." Friends that hold hands, talk on the phone until the wee hours of the night, and kiss. Yeah, bigots and homophobes aren't exactly the smartest people.

3 1
blondiee09 0

oh that poor man. FHL, not yours

0 3
blondiee09 0

#183 : you better be careful how you define "smartest". I'd be willing to bet more than you're worth that I'm more intelligent than you.

0 2
Lonely_Lez 0

Smart enough to admit to being a bigot.

1 0
CharlieMitsuki 0

If you have a history of racism and bigotry in your background, I sincerely doubt that, darling.

0 0
Smiley_70 22

You did the right thing to have the neighbor tell the father. True to thine self is important. They will probably need a counselor or mediator there though to clear the air and to assist.

2 0
Sucks2beYouxD 0

Here comes the lame quote; Homophobic is gay =)

2 2
Creston 0

I believe there was an actual survey carried out to find out what percentage of homophobic people were at least somewhat attracted by homosexuality. It had something to do with showing them gay pornography and testing for arousal. If my memory serves me correctly, a rather large percentage (70-95%) ended up at least slightly aroused. Interesting, no?

1 0
insomniacdude 0

194: That's only interesting assuming that homophobes statistically are more aroused by gay pornography than non-homophobes.

0 0
CalmBlue 0

Yes. This study was cited in a recent psychology lecture I had. The statistics were nowhere near as high as Creston claimed they were though. The study was conducted on heterosexual men and women who openly identified as either homophobic or non-homophobic, and the results showed that the men who identified as homophobic were 30-45% more likely to show arousal to pornographic images of men than the ones who didn't. There was no detectable difference in the women however.

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Creston 0

-shrugs- Apologies, I read the article a long time ago and it must have been messed up with some other article I read. On the other hand, I quoted the percentage of the homophobics, and not the percentage of how much more likely it is for them to be aroused as opposed to non-homophobic men.

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Creston 0

...We're talking about different studies, I believe. I just checked. 80%. 26% was moderate arousal, and 54% was definite. And it was only with males. So yeah, different studies.

0 0
Krulin 8

Oh man, FYL. And while we're on the topic, "phobia" doesn't just mean fear. Look it up in the dictionary; it means "Irrational fear, dread, aversion, or revulsion towards a specific object or activity". And whoever thinks that someone is just born bigoted and can't help being ignorant needs to get their ******* head checked.

0 0
insomniacdude 0

I don't think they quite mean born bigoted. But as you said, a phobia is an irrational fear, and I'd be willing to bet that for all of the homophobes that were just raised as bigoted assholes, there are also quite a few that simply have an irrational fear. If a person has androphobia, that doesn't necessarily make them sexist. They same SHOULD be said about homophobes. The problem is that "homophobia" has been used in the pejorative for so long that it has taken on that new derisive meaning, instead of the one to which it was originally assigned. "True" homophobia is irrational, unreasonable, and most likely innate and unchangable - all of which cannot be said about bigotry. I think that is the point some people were trying to make when they said some people were "born bigoted." Or maybe they really are just assholes. I hope not. I hate being wrong. But I'll try and give them the benefit of the doubt.

0 0