Intimacy: Message in a mattress - FML

Message in a mattress

By FASHlONABLE - 05/04/2010 07:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 305

You deserved it 10 017

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Get Out

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 06:04 - Australia - Mulgrave

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 136

You deserved it 8 132

Enough is enough

By Rachaael - 19/01/2023 02:00

Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 359

Not now, mom!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 182

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 148

You deserved it 4 036

Get out

By wtf - 14/03/2011 04:07

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my phone there and had got a text from a guy saying, "Hi, how have you been?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 530

You deserved it 8 954

By laydeegaga - 07/03/2010 08:13

Spicy

Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 414

You deserved it 28 915

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 81

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 20:52 - United Kingdom - Stretham

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 587

You deserved it 4 832

By Madeline Lee - 09/04/2012 21:34 - France - Pessac

Spicy

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 675

You deserved it 3 018

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 827

You deserved it 324

Next

Top comments

wrigglezeus 0

Monday 5 April 2010 16:04

legend lol

Blur009er 0

Monday 5 April 2010 16:06

territory claimed

Comments

shinigamiking_13 4

Friday 16 July 2010 8:17

Thats crazy! My name is connor as well...maybe i can leave the next note

Tonys_kitten6 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 16:59

bahahahaha Conor wins!!

Darkwings666 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 3:53

1 word says it all... -win-

HHA_fml 3

Sunday 15 August 2010 23:07

WIN !!!!!

lsk91 3

Monday 16 August 2010 8:58

hate me for this but your ex is awesome XD

tiipsypiink09 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:30

Omg that's incredible!!

karina4hope 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 7:54

LOL

raachelbabyy 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 17:31

omg that's great lmao. would suck to be that girl, but I'm not gonna lie, if I was that girl, I'd be ashamed to be laughing but I sooo would be lmao

pyrogirl6622 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:20

that I no reason to never have sex at home. that is how you get caught.

PYR094 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 12:03

Hahaha! What a legend!

6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Public freakouts Education Parents Mother in law Love Argument AITA Miscellaneous Fear Insects Skincare Health Cats Jealousy Work Gross Coworkers Animals Dogs Drugs Fire Awkward Transportation Scams Cars Money Bikes Scary Neighbours Intimacy

The Top

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 624

You deserved it 5 990

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 953

You deserved it 28 266

The Top

Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 344

You deserved it 50 274

Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 696

You deserved it 3 133

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 625

You deserved it 5 819

Today, I'm home alone and it blows, especially since my wife has to stay at the hospital to get chemo, and I can't stay with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 95

Today, my country’s health minister said on TV, "Stay home! Don’t travel, don’t meet people!" The same evening, he drove to another state to have dinner with a group of people who gave money to his political party. He had taken a COVID test before. It came back positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 122

Today, this coming January in 2024 will be our 3 year anniversary, with loads of engagement talk in the air. Even though I found, "Congrats, you've earned Tinder VIP Status !" on my boyfriend's phone from about 8 months ago. I literally feel sick to my stomach. I was also in the hospital sick when he apparently did this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 130