Health, Friends, Lonely and Awkward: Message in a bottle - FML

Message in a bottle

By Anonymous - 24/08/2023 06:00

Today, I was at hospital and the nurse asked me for an emergency contact number. I was about to say my wife, but she divorced me last month. I couldn’t think of anyone else. My parents are dead, none of my other relatives live in this country, and I have no children or friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 98

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By meagainsttheworld - 26/10/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, while filling out some medical forms, I was asked for an emergency contact. I realized I didn't have anyone who would actually care enough to be my contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 276

You deserved it 3 379

Harsh

By SkipBeatOtaku - 29/08/2020 23:02

Today, my estranged father died. No one bothered to tell me, and the only reason I found out was because his wife texted my sister. When I asked about the service, I was told I was no welcome in the state he had lived in, because I was no longer family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 333

By thanksmom - 02/06/2011 09:27 - United States

Today, I was released from hospital after being in a car accident. I used the phone book to call people I know to get a ride home, as my wallet and cellphone were still in the wrecked car. I had called my mom to come get me, but her response was "I don't feel like it." I live with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 879

You deserved it 2 987

Don't know, don't care

By Anonymous - 29/07/2021 00:01

Today, I realised that if I died, no one would care. I know this because when I called my partner distressed last night, he told me he needed to sleep and hung up in less than 45 seconds, and a friend told me to call lifeline. I haven’t heard from either of them since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 187

Alone

By Anonymous - 07/11/2019 05:45

Today, I was feeling really down and decided to text a friend to vent to someone about it. Then I realized, I don’t have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 061

You deserved it 307

Some friends you've got there

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 10:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I wrote a post about how I was thinking of attempting suicide. Not one single person contacted me to see if I was alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 612

By over_protected - 18/01/2010 12:28 - Canada

Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 161

You deserved it 2 478

House hunting

By ohboy - 06/03/2009 00:51 - United States

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. Thirty minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 137

You deserved it 21 489

Thanks for reminding me

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 18:00

Today, my son's school called and made a comment about only calling me because my wife didn’t answer her phone. My wife is dead. It’s in his record that his mom is dead, and yet they still tried to call her before me, because I suppose dads aren’t real parents like moms are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 81

Petty bitches

By Sad - 24/03/2022 16:00

Today, my mother passed away in the hospital. My sister and brother refused to tell me which hospital she was staying at so I couldn’t say goodbye. They blocked my number. This was all because apparently I was the favorite and they did this as a vendetta against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 93

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 24 August 2023 14:33

Just put Kevin Hart. In case of emergency, he'll make you laugh your ass off before you die. Isn't that the best way to go?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 25 August 2023 3:21

No workmates/bosses?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 24 August 2023 14:33

Just put Kevin Hart. In case of emergency, he'll make you laugh your ass off before you die. Isn't that the best way to go?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 25 August 2023 3:21

No workmates/bosses?

core01 30

Friday 25 August 2023 3:40

i feel for you, but maybe take this time post emergency to really work on yourself and grow.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Relatable Students Work Sleep Noise Birds Animals Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 457

You deserved it 2 906

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

The Top

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 557

You deserved it 3 444

Today, my mom fell and hit her head on our coffee table when walking inside. She tripped on a 1 cm gate rail. She split her head open and there was so much blood. This is the third bad fall in 2 weeks. She still smokes, despite having COPD, and the ER doctor telling her smoking is depriving her brain of oxygen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 108

Today, I dropped a butcher's knife on my knuckle. Five stitches later, I can't even wipe my own butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 784

You deserved it 924

Today, I agreed to babysit my baby nephew for a week while his parents flew abroad for the MIL’s funeral. I had hoped having a baby around might convince my wife to consider having kids. Nope. She got so sick of the baby, she moved into a hotel until my sister comes home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 836

Today, I dragged my entire family to the beach for a swim. I don’t know what was up with the tides but the water was all over the place as soon as we came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 41

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 619

You deserved it 3 930