Cats, Cute and Animals: Master manipulator

Master manipulator

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Turkey

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 200

You deserved it 6 093

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/03/2013 14:22 - United States - Audubon

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 928

You deserved it 3 976

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 672

You deserved it 3 440

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 005

You deserved it 28 858

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 418

You deserved it 836

Smelly cat, smelly cat…

By Kas - 25/11/2020 11:02

Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 141

By Adam - 16/03/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 328

You deserved it 5 172

By catwoman - 31/10/2009 04:34 - Australia

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 136

You deserved it 5 468

Scaredy cat

By poop - 24/03/2016 18:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 056

You deserved it 2 555

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 392

You deserved it 22 958

By damn cats - 12/08/2018 22:00

Today my cat watched me clean and refill his water bowls, then shoved his fresh-out-of-the-litter-box paw in my glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 345

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 8 November 2010 18:45

Did he put the lid up?

amerwin 3

Monday 8 November 2010 18:48

Mr. Jenks!!! Cats lack opposable thumbs, Focker.

Comments

PizzaGuy11 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 4:58

I have a book and five diffrent college degrees.

ImmaZebra 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 5:19

^^^ Hahaha. :)

BeautifulDizaztr 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 5:56

YDI, cats are evil and the spawn of Satan.

FYLwindowlicker 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 8:12

RAWR!

maphineRAWRS 10

Tuesday 9 November 2010 6:10

I hate cats hahaha they always look like they will leap and attach itself to my face and claw at it...

musicFrEaK1077 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 7:32

awesome kitty kat.

oz83 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 8:19

you totally deserve it for owning a cat

wriptidez 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 8:50

thats cute

restythestar 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 9:09

YDI for owning a cat.

yucayucatan 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 10:10

I totally understand you, those little *******. I hate them

MeyMeyChan 6

Tuesday 9 November 2010 12:56

Meow~ Kitty Kitty.. Yep. They're evil.. But so cute! x3 Evil and cute.. Just like me! >:3

Keywords

Lonely Dentist Sadness Health Work Awkward Abuse Parents Miscellaneous Birthday Mental health OCD Relatable Cleaning Housework Love Cute Argument Kids Animals Cats Intimacy Underwear Bikes Camping Boredom Friends Vacation Transportation Annoying

The Top

Today, and for over week, one of my nostrils has been stuffed to the point I can't breathe through it. I tried nasal spray and blowing it out, but nothing worked. I wanted to go to the doctor but first, I used a flashlight and a pair of tweezers. The giant, crusted booger bullet I pulled out was as long as my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 99

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 287

The Top

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 990

You deserved it 5 811

Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 1 190

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 205

You deserved it 33 673

Today, when my roommate asked me what was wrong, I told him that something I ate was making me feel sick. He works 10+ hours a day, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that the putrid smell of his feet was making me nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 737

You deserved it 4 733

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 143

You deserved it 52 416

Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 630

You deserved it 4 974