Death and Animals: Life's a beach - FML

Life's a beach

By squishylog - 12/08/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 922

You deserved it 7 099

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Same thing different taste

By LexiBoBexi - 12/07/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 628

You deserved it 8 607

By Anonymous - 13/08/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 819

You deserved it 6 325

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 847

You deserved it 3 600

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 832

You deserved it 5 035

Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 90

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 989

You deserved it 18 149

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 145

By sothisishowidie - 30/09/2013 11:18 - Guam - Yigo

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 746

You deserved it 12 996

Nice friends you got there

By Schrewt - 24/01/2010 08:50 - France

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 649

You deserved it 3 164

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 022

You deserved it 32 520

Next

Top comments

stevie1359 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:09

Couldnt you smell it? Lol

swasticop 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:13

As long as you didn't have sex on it...

Comments

Imachillifilliz 2

Friday 12 August 2011 18:37

I'd poop my pants

RayanneY 0

Friday 12 August 2011 18:43

Really, you couldn't see it before you sat?..

coolchick1130 9

Friday 12 August 2011 18:49

ew that's disgusting

cheesetothepower 7

Friday 12 August 2011 19:01

How did you not realize it was a dead animal from the smell? It doesn't make it suck any less, but I would imagine it would smell horrific enough to warn you.

cheesetothepower 7

Friday 12 August 2011 19:03

How did you not realize it was a dead animal from the smell? It doesn't make it suck any less, but I would imagine it would smell horrific enough to warn you.

Eaglestrike117 29

Friday 12 August 2011 19:14

Higher than seeing a log on the beach... Seriously, OP, how did you not notice it was a dead seal?

thir13enthour 0

Friday 12 August 2011 19:17

Did that "Seal" the deal. Lol bad pun...

Calyx_fml 21

Friday 12 August 2011 19:17

It wasn't dead until you fatties sat on it.

jallred254 4

Sunday 14 August 2011 23:57

And you weren't fat til you ate it

jonmansheppard 9

Friday 12 August 2011 19:23

careful, dead things that are sat on are known to attack back *sits on same seal*. oh shit...

Raheemdplayer 7

Friday 12 August 2011 19:35

LMAO, you're lucky it didn't explode from the pressure, that would have been disgusting

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The Top

Today, I realised that when my husband is telling our boys off, he can’t think of what to say so he just steals lines from TV shows. This afternoon he told them, “Have you lost your minds? Because I’ll help you find them!” and, “I’ll be on your tails like a hot wind!” Both phrases are from The Office. FML

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You deserved it 116

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 260

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 494

You deserved it 1 959

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 168

You deserved it 309

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 961

You deserved it 7 367

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 312

You deserved it 33 842

Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 015

You deserved it 3 575

Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 151

You deserved it 7 420