Family, Annoying and Health: Leave me alone

Leave me alone

By emoflowers - 10/04/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 518

You deserved it 3 340

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Same thing different taste

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 7 179

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 699

You deserved it 5 786

By ok cool - 13/10/2015 01:53 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 139

You deserved it 2 885

Bladdered

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 14:31 - India - Delhi

Today, while playing cards, with my dad, mom and sister, I excused myself to go to the bathroom several times just to secretly chat with my crush. I laughed so hard at a joke that I wet my pants. My family thinks I need to see a doctor because I was going to the bathroom so often between card games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 341

Sad but true

By mcginnismr - 13/05/2016 22:57

Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 260

You deserved it 1 372

Open door policy

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 75

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 76

Good to know

By peeshy - 16/05/2021 06:01

Today, I used the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs one, which was in close earshot of my parents. When I came out, my mom angrily asked why I used that bathroom. I explained to her that I have shy bladder, and she said, "That’s not a real thing. I can go even with someone watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 103

By LoveYouTooMa - 20/06/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 924

You deserved it 32 589

Ever Given

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 20:00 - United States - Elverson

Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 286

FYLminerocks 7

Tuesday 10 April 2012 8:39

You mean to jack off right?

bitch_pleez 10

Tuesday 10 April 2012 8:41

Haha my little brother does sorta the same thing. He locks himself in the bathroom for a couple hours with a book multiple times a day.

Comments

wittygirl 8

Tuesday 10 April 2012 8:52

I used to do that, it's stressful living with a bunch of crazies.

berichsoon 11

Tuesday 10 April 2012 8:54

A lot of people don't see it, but the bathroom is one of the most peaceful places in the world

ycrem0n 21

Tuesday 10 April 2012 12:04

That's right. The quiet sounds of flowing water, the sweet scent of Glade, the solitude that brings peace, and sometimes the explosive sounds of diarrh--oh wait.

EmoFlowers 19

Wednesday 11 April 2012 0:56

BAHA. Being a female all these jacking off comments make me smile.

KillSwitch96 18

Wednesday 11 April 2012 6:24

87-Some women ********** too... Just thought I'd let you know...

ShockwaveXIII 8

Tuesday 10 April 2012 8:56

Isn't that what bedrooms are for?

calivianya 29

Tuesday 10 April 2012 10:20

People will follow you into a bedroom if they want to talk. Most people wouldn't follow you into the bathroom, especially if you're saying you're about to take a dump. It's a much better escape.

micahsmommy 13

Tuesday 10 April 2012 10:37

22- many kids share rooms with siblings. Can't really lock them out if it's their room too.

ClaremoreZebra 8

Tuesday 10 April 2012 9:01

Do you have some obsession over jacking off? Chill with the details.

LMA0 5

Tuesday 10 April 2012 9:06

He's just making an observation. If you didn't like it you didn't have to read the duration. Now get outta here before you experience my urination.

LMA0 5

Tuesday 10 April 2012 9:10

Lol this guy. My vote for next president of our nation.

LMA0 5

Tuesday 10 April 2012 9:23

If you want my recommendation, I suggest some serious psychoanalyzation. With your inclination to talk masturbation, you likely have a problem with your ejaculation.