Weird, Creepy, Dating, First Dates and Love: Joe Smooth

That then brings up the reciprocal question, does HE know how it feels to have spiders crawl out his dick? I mean, really, at that point it's a pretty legit question.

Sniper_Chick4110 20

Sunday 2 February 2014 10:56

Sounds like he was asking about the possibility of cobwebs down there?

NutMegGriffin 3

Sunday 2 February 2014 11:23

you should've replied by saying "do you?" lmao

bluestar_fml 12

Sunday 2 February 2014 17:22

That's when it's time to peace the **** out.

jeriaslovesyou 16

Monday 3 February 2014 3:04

Now that's boyfriend material right there. What happened next?

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Today, I asked a girl from Bumble for a full body pic. She was obese, so I told her it wasn’t gonna work. She then sent a video of her in real time looking slim and told me that picture was from when she was obese, and she'd sent that picture as a “test of my character” and she’s “better off without someone so judgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 911

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job, and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said, "How would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 864

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Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML

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You deserved it 114

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 533

You deserved it 24 104

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 592

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

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You deserved it 17 295

Today, I got laid off. I abandoned my friends, my boyfriend and moved 10 hours away for this job because my uncle convinced me to. My uncle is my employer. FML

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You deserved it 4 866

Today, I was fired for falling asleep at work. I’m still not sure how I fell asleep, seeing as I’m a stocker and I was actively putting cans on the shelf when it happened. FML

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You deserved it 92