Health and Poopoo peepee: I've known for ages

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 7 179

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 699

You deserved it 5 786

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 060

You deserved it 4 592

Full of it

By romoangel - 21/04/2020 05:00

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 504

Leave me alone

By emoflowers - 10/04/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 518

You deserved it 3 340

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 40 903

By Sam - 09/01/2018 19:00

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 802

You deserved it 248

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 285

You deserved it 7 523

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 76

By blehh - 14/04/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 288

You deserved it 54 660

A mother's love…

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Allentown

Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 98

IllegalLight 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 12:09

zing!

intensitive 11

Thursday 28 January 2010 12:15

One word: Fiber.

Comments

silentfog 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:42

best burn ever

zen_fml 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:53

your mum wins!!! =)

carleyfmlisfunny 0

Friday 29 January 2010 2:05

LoL !

sportsnut 0

Friday 29 January 2010 2:11

sooo, here's how this works. All you have to do is WORK THE **** OUT sometimes. A little bit of walking, maybe a jog, hell why not just go for a run to get your shit fixed

volcomst0ned 0

Friday 29 January 2010 3:47

lol that sucks man

V_S234 0

Friday 29 January 2010 3:50

lmfao!

marcisofly 0

Friday 29 January 2010 3:57

your mom is cool!

deepdiver999 0

Friday 29 January 2010 4:01

wow total mom win but your life really sucks apparently I'd be pissed if my mom said dat but I wouldn't be an idiot and post it on fml

zbrown 6

Friday 29 January 2010 4:07

YDI for not having a sense of humor. That was a really funny joke. :)

LittleMiss1 0

Friday 29 January 2010 4:34

ahahah that is good, learnhow to take a joke!

DifferentSparkle 5

Friday 29 January 2010 4:38

Haha your mom is awesome. We say that joke whenever someone in my family gets a colonoscopy (sp?) I'm having a giggle fit over this and the fact that you're so immature you can't just laugh with your mom.