Love, Relatable, Awkward and First Dates: Hyper self-awareness

Hyper self-awareness

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 23:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was on a first date and everything was going great, until I realized I had garlic breath from the garlic bread I ate earlier. I tried covering it with a mouthful of wine, but it just made it worse. I ended up trying to avoid any closeness, and now I guess I'll just die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 447

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Same thing different taste

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 251

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 244

You deserved it 45 072

By sarah - 11/02/2012 06:36 - United States

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 219

You deserved it 47 317

By stoych - 08/10/2012 07:14 - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 088

You deserved it 5 952

LET ME OUT!

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a group of people who smelled like they bathed in garlic. It was so bad that I'm pretty sure Dracula would have tried to claw his way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 96

By hollysofly - 15/01/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 181

You deserved it 7 939

Impressive, dude

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 15:00

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 931

Grossed out

By tiaox - 04/06/2021 11:01

Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 248

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 599

You deserved it 4 895

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 197

Brightside86 30

Monday 30 January 2023 2:38

100% doubt they would have minded. They took you to a place that serves garlic bread, if they didn't didn't want their date with a hint of garlic than that's on them.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 January 2023 2:16

You don't have mints or gum on you? You don't have the presence of mind to avoid garlic when kissing may be in the near future? You need to learn how to date. You shouldn't be doomed to spinsterhood just because you don't follow a few common sense tips.

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 29 January 2023 23:39

Don't sweat it so much. It's not like the garlic will start tasting like toothpaste before you kiss someone.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 January 2023 2:16

poopface82 18

Monday 30 January 2023 2:30

When this guy is not being a sarcastic bastard, listen the **** up.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 January 2023 3:19

Damned Auto-Correct! I wrote "No matter how awful your breath is, a ******* is always welcome," but the computer "fixed it!"

HayNow 11

Monday 30 January 2023 21:17

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Yudith 24

Monday 30 January 2023 18:44

Better still, give some garlic bread to your date. This way, he won't mind the garlic breath since he'll have the same.

Brightside86 30

Monday 30 January 2023 2:38

100% doubt they would have minded. They took you to a place that serves garlic bread, if they didn't didn't want their date with a hint of garlic than that's on them.