Love, Gun control and Scary: Guns don't kill people, rappers do

Guns don't kill people, rappers do

By guns save lives, so does gun safety - 03/02/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 262

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 11:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 363

You deserved it 44 928

By dead man walking? - 04/10/2015 13:21 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 722

You deserved it 2 207

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 693

You deserved it 54 416

Boom, headshot

By oof - 09/07/2020 23:01

Today, my fiancé and I were discussing whether we should have a gun in the house or not. He argued that I’m too clumsy to have one. Offended, I turned around to storm off. I hit my forehead on the cabinet I'd left open and immediately started gushing blood. Point proved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 1 792

By raebelle - 02/06/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 636

You deserved it 10 771

By Anonymous - 04/10/2013 21:41 - United States - Romulus

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 3 584

By Ducati - 10/08/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 852

You deserved it 13 475

Gun control

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 10:59

Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 4 275

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 970

Get your act together

By Z…… - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 761

You deserved it 35 980

anothergenericuncreativename 13

Friday 3 February 2023 15:26

buddy, you should get away from her before she accidentally blows someones brains out with your gun. and/or get rid of your gun, unless you actually have a valid reason why you need it.

JasonThorn 19

Friday 3 February 2023 15:58

A line from a Stephen King novella describes the perfect attitude to take involving firearms: "My dad would tell me to treat every gun as though the moment you take your eyes off of it, it loads itself."

Comments

anothergenericuncreativename 13

Friday 3 February 2023 15:26

buddy, you should get away from her before she accidentally blows someones brains out with your gun. and/or get rid of your gun, unless you actually have a valid reason why you need it.

JasonThorn 19

Friday 3 February 2023 15:58

RichardPencil 30

Friday 3 February 2023 16:17

Maybe "paranoid weirdo" might be a better fit.

JackWood 20

Friday 3 February 2023 23:44

Obviously you're no Alec Baldwin.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 4 February 2023 0:56

Tell her about Terry Kath.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Saturday 4 February 2023 10:22

Keep her away from firearms, yours, or any others.

1known 30

Saturday 4 February 2023 20:16

And that’s the reason why we don’t need guns in a home.

Schm17ty 1

Tuesday 7 November 2023 6:42

No more guns for her I hope! Maybe an actual gun safety certification course. A long one. And maybe some introductions to gunshot victims and gruesome pictures as well. And get a bulletproof vest when you go shooting?