Roommate, Furniture and Miscellaneous: **** me, I guess

**** me, I guess

By Anonymous - 25/11/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 746

You deserved it 2 142

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Same thing different taste

By uvagirl - 05/07/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 273

You deserved it 3 838

Bottle bank

By TiredStudent - 12/06/2020 23:07 - Australia

Today, I found out my last roommate had been stacking her empty wine bottles under the sink for the last 5 months. The cleaning lady who found them now thinks I'm an alcoholic, and threatened to report me to my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 193

Pissed

By mommy2004 - 18/07/2023 03:00

Today, my nineteen year-old boyfriend dumped me and kicked me out of his place where I was staying. All because my two year-old peed on his couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 898

Give it back

By upset room mate - 18/08/2011 06:59 - United States

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 130

You deserved it 4 302

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 00:57 - United States - Wichita

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 603

You deserved it 2 262

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 807

You deserved it 2 833

By Anonymous - 15/04/2015 14:32 - United Kingdom - Kettering

Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 271

You deserved it 3 029

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 05:09 - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 634

You deserved it 23 377

By busybuzzybee - 17/08/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, my asshole of a roommate finally decided to move out. Not only did he take his belongings with him, he took some of mine as well. Including my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 536

You deserved it 2 851

Gross!

By cantstopfeelingit - 16/12/2019 05:00

Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 203

You deserved it 2 474

cturtle 2

Wednesday 25 November 2009 16:44

Who wants to live with someone who owns a white leather couch anyway??? Is there also a tiger skin rug in the middle of the room, head still attached?

trizzieb 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 16:46

YDI it for rooming with an f*ing douche bag. Maybe it was the blood from his menstrual cycle.

Comments

beachbabie 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 20:44

who buys a white couch?

GKLM 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 20:51

GAYDAR says yes

psychit 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 20:56

he just wants to kick you out and blamed it on you. duh..

PaigeCPony 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 5:58

That's what I was thinking, too

CheapoBilo 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 21:31

Your roomate was obviously pissed about you not being ghey enough to perform surprise butt secks on so he kicked you out.

betamaxjim92 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 21:33

Oh lordy, where's Billy Mays when you need him? If you're legitamatly getting kicked out, go take a shit on the couch for the lulz

DrewsFML 8

Wednesday 25 November 2009 23:00

He said it was your fault because you're the one who makes him drink.

Emperor_Jim 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 23:06

Good thing you only spent seven weeks wih this asswipe.

blalien 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 23:24

Dude, your roommate can't just "kick you out." You have rights. Take it up with the landlord.

Richmond24 6

Thursday 26 November 2009 1:45

WHO THE **** HAS A WHITE LEATHER COUCH IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!

blastvortex 3

Thursday 26 November 2009 3:44

Unless your roomie is the only one on the lease, he has absolutely no right to kick you out. Otherwise, grab your stuff and get out. Either way, you don't want to live with a person that blames you for all of their problems.