First time, last time
By tuggernuts - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
I agree, your life sucks
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You deserved it
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Comments
strokedturbogsxr
3
Well if you didn't have a pathetic excuse for a **** that probably wouldn't have happened.. But on a serious note you should have read the instructions. So therefor YDI
unknown_user5566
26
OP, you've got to be kidding me. Size doesn't necessarily matter- what matters is what you can do with what you've got. Have some confidence in yourself and your abilities and you won't need shit like that.
TheDrifter
23
Size is also relative. As long as op's woman is sized comparably he's good to go. If she's been doing extreme insertions **** it doesn't matter how hung op is, it won't be great.
What 132 said. Size is most definitely relative. Or if the girls he's into is into fisting then he's kinda screwed there are ver yew penises the size of fists and well.. No amount of pumping is going to full that vacuum.
TheDrifter
23
To which his big dicked friend replied "but it takes a long time to get to England in a row boat."
Ranchtastic
4
That's what happens when you cheat on Jill.
Ahhhh my balls!! Why do people do these things lord??
Corrupt_waffles
13
Actually a penis pump is also used for people with impotence. He could very well have some damage already such as age and or damaged vascular vessels. If this is the case I am very sorry op.
Well... Sorry OP, but that's what happens when you go against nature. It kicks you in the ass... Or the nuts. Also, bigger doesn't necessarily mean better...
FMLshark
12
Penis pumps aren't only used to increase size. They're also used for men with erectile dysfunction. The more you know.
kaylib7162
6
You are extremely ignorant.
Don't those pumps cause damage in the long run? What's the point of having a larger penis if you're unable to maintain an erection with it? I understand there are some women that prefer a larger guy. Just like there are some men that are attracted to larger breasted women. It's a preference but you have hands, a mouth, tongue etc..... There's a hell of a lot more to pleasing someone than just sticking it in. :P ***I know a guy that's in a wheelchair and it's shocking how many girlfriends(whatever they're called) are so in Aweee of this man! Hmmmm I wonder why?
perdix
29
Why??? Long penis? Fat penis? Double-headed penis? Agile tongue? Leg-stump rides? Sharing his disability settlement cash? Witty comments? Fast fingers? Why???
"I swear, baby. Its not mine!" Austin Powers
One book,,, the Swedish made penis enlarger and me this kind of thing is my bag,,,, baby,,, by Austin powers :))
Glad I'm not the only one who thought of that.
dlcj22
11
right if its not a dating site why are you worried about it
VooDooCarrie91
19
Do you even know what you're talking about half the time?
vaughant
5
Oh my goodness a penis pump doesn't make your penis any bigger! a penis pump is a vacuum system that fits around your flaccid penis and you use a device to pump out air to create suction. This, in turn, causes blood to flow into your penis, causing an erection not a larger penis
Your picture scares me.
It kind of makes it bigger though, since a penis gets a bit larger during an erection
kaylib7162
6
Actually ur wrong. It does make it slightly bigger. Learn your facts first sweetie
kaylib7162
6
AHAHAHAHAHA I was thinking the same thing!!!!
Lol great minds thin alike!
perdix
29
The penis pump does work while you are using it -- the intractable problem is getting a woman to **** you while you are still hooked up to it.
kaylib7162
6
#206 Most certainly great minds think a like.. Glad to know that I am not the only great mind around!!! Lol kidding with that last comment
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So that's why Justin Bieber's voice is so high...just kidding he doesn't have a penis.
At least u didnt suck them both up!