Health, Embarrassing and Poopoo peepee: First time for everything

First time for everything

By Anonymous - 02/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Hoffman

Today, I've been sneezing and coughing and not feeling well, so I decided to go to the grocery store to get some bone broth and some orange juice. Shortly after grabbing the orange juice, I felt like I had to pass gas, except it wasn't gas, it was diarrhea. At 35 years-old I pooped my pants in the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 151

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 177

You deserved it 4 208

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 572

You deserved it 4 369

Poot

By dumblonde76 - 14/09/2021 07:00 - United States - Jackson

Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 572

You deserved it 4 359

By Anonymous - 24/11/2009 11:44 - United States

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 184

You deserved it 3 523

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 12:28 - Canada - Holyrood

Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 119

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 404

You deserved it 910

By Lydlsis - 30/10/2015 23:53 - United States

Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 745

You deserved it 4 621

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 879

Don't mind me

By everyonewasstaring - 22/12/2009 23:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 4 348

D J's MOM 17

Friday 2 February 2024 12:31

the older you get the more you learn,,, never trust a fart in public.

poopface82 18

Friday 2 February 2024 15:34

Rule number one: when you’re sick, never trust a fart.

Comments

D J's MOM 17

Friday 2 February 2024 12:31

the older you get the more you learn,,, never trust a fart in public.

poopface82 18

Friday 2 February 2024 15:34

Rule number one: when you’re sick, never trust a fart.

core01 30

Saturday 3 February 2024 5:10

you're really going all in on spreading your nasty ass germs to everyone. Next time, order curbside pick-up.

fiat850 14

Saturday 3 February 2024 23:27

Moderators - can we get a moratorium on "I farted and followed through" FMLs? There's only one story, the setting can be anywhere and doesn't change anything about it, and it appears that nobody's learning from others' mistakes which is the whole point of this site. If you're unwell, fart in the toilet. If you're going to vomit, either sit on the toilet and hold the trash can in front or squat in front of the toilet with your butt over an oil-changing pan. If you're too far from a toilet to safely make it, go find somewhere out of the way and get most of it out. If you're trying to sleep off a bad stomach bug wear old sweatpants and sleep on a towel. That should take care of most of these cases.