Intimacy: Family Matters - FML

Family Matters

By whyme102008 - 13/07/2011 06:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 069

You deserved it 8 663

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Same thing different taste

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 180

You deserved it 3 146

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 654

You deserved it 2 457

By drunkboysgf - 21/10/2011 07:39 - Canada

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 609

You deserved it 5 214

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 343

You deserved it 14 487

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 76

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 491

You deserved it 2 429

By Username - 20/06/2011 15:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 671

You deserved it 4 260

All in the family

By notasgood - 12/01/2010 23:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 600

You deserved it 3 333

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 267

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 121

You deserved it 3 559

Next

Top comments

unholymasta 4

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:02

I think your dad had the right idea but shouldn't have physically assaulted your boyfriend. Hope you dumped his cheating ass.

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 13 July 2011 16:05

At least it wasn't your mum you had to bail out after hitting your boyfriend when he made a move on your dad!

Comments

okevin 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:57

awesome! your mom must be hot an easy! ??

yeahWhatevuh 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:59

damn

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:02

Oh wow... Umm there are so many things wrong with that swntence

capnbzarr 43

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:03

Correction: You *chose* to bail your dad out. I'd have let mom bail him out. Then they could have the conversation they need to have on the long drive home.

xninfax 4

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:05

Jerry springer shit.

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:06

Foursome?

BigPerro4life 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:12

at least your boyfriend "kept it in the family"? maybe you should double-team him with mom?

AbNorMal_KarizMa 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:13

can anyone say Jerry Springer?

rapunzel3416 28

Thursday 14 July 2011 2:47

Everyone already has

snakey2010 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:15

I think your boyfriend got what he deserved and I hope you broke up with him.

no1fan4lsutigers 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:28

can we say Jerry springer?!?

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Keywords

Instagram Social Media Love Shopping AITA Awkward Money Anxiety Sex Intimacy Wanker Health DIY Relatable Kids Weather Cars Miscellaneous Work Transportation Embarrassing Jealousy Vacation Family Cute Language Students Education Parents First Dates

The Top

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 686

You deserved it 42 152

Today, I was in an online meeting when my cat decided to say hello. To do this, he walked in front of my screen, completely obscuring it in his fur. He then logged me out of the meeting by walking across the keyboard. Three times. Every time I tried to pick him up to make him stop, he got upset and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 381

The Top

Today, I found out that I'm not my girlfriend's only boyfriend. The other guy sells shoes on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 126

Today, at my new retail job, I accidentally referred to white tank tops as, "Wife beaters." That's what I thought they were actually called, until my boss had to correct me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 424

Today, my boyfriend informed me via text message that he had moved to Bristol, and the reason he had ignored me the past fortnight was because he didn't know how to tell me. He knew he was moving even before we even got together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 564

You deserved it 2 937

Today, I had to listen to my mom telling me my paternal grandmother had to tell he my step-grandfather has a small uncut dick, but big balls. I could've gone my whole life not knowing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 325

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 094

You deserved it 38 824

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 451

You deserved it 45 769