Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: Dude, WTF?

Dude, WTF?

By cman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Romania

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 506

You deserved it 3 193

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 437

You deserved it 3 353

By Stinky - 20/11/2011 10:23 - United States

Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 183

You deserved it 4 892

Make yourself at home

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 142

You deserved it 2 501

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 373

You deserved it 3 613

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 346

You deserved it 2 256

By meep - 16/03/2017 00:00

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 828

You deserved it 435

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 412

You deserved it 3 601

Busting makes me feel good

By NotASquirrel - 12/03/2016 05:29 - United States - Bronx

Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 926

You deserved it 1 293

By never thought I'd say that - 22/08/2013 19:05 - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 722

You deserved it 2 841

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 187

CallMeHush 0

Friday 26 February 2010 19:54

You fail because you couldn't outrun an old drunk with his dick out. What? You got got square wheels on your wheelchair or something?

rosto16 0

Friday 26 February 2010 19:52

I hope you smack the hell outta him!

Comments

benen 0

Friday 26 February 2010 22:06

he was marking his territory

ColdGold 6

Friday 26 February 2010 22:50

Now, that would be something to see!

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 26 February 2010 23:17

Dude has good aim. mad props to him.

what_the_fail 0

Friday 26 February 2010 23:25

Figures this is from Romania

Hemi_Driven 3

Friday 26 February 2010 23:27

The funny thing about piss is it comes out at a certain pressure, which means the stream is only moving forward at a given speed. A medium powerwalk should have been enough to "outrun" the speed of the stream, resulting in a drenched old man. If by "I sped up" you mean "I stuck my foot out for him to more easily piss on" then I consider this little story feasable. If you can't outrun that stream, you deserve every drop of disease laden bodily fluid that old sharp shooter hit you with. Don't believe me? Whip out your little sausage link and try running forward while peeing. Bring a fresh pair of pants.