Doofus - FML

Doofus

By Jim - 14/10/2025 03:00

Today, I went to my favorite café to order my usual iced latte. The barista smiled and said, “The usual, right?” I nodded confidently, except she wasn’t talking to me. She handed the drink to the guy behind me and said, “Thanks, babe.” He winked at her. I just paid for my drink in silence, praying for a sinkhole to open. FML

agreeclassic 331

vote type 1 112

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Today, I walked into a coffee shop where I always flirt with the cute barista who I think likes me, and confidently told her I'd have "the usual." She just stared at me blankly and said, "I have literally never seen you before in my life." FML

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Today, I stopped at the coffee shop before work and confidently ordered "my usual." The barista looked confused but nodded. When my drink came, it was completely wrong. Turns out, I was in the wrong coffee shop. I was too embarrassed to correct them, so I drank a weird matcha-pumpkin spice sludge. FML

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Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

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Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML

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