Relationships, Sleep, Relatable and Housework: Damned if you do…

Damned if you do…

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up early to do the dishes and clean up, after having people over yesterday. Now my wife is mad at me because I didn't stay in bed with her longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 89

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Same thing different taste

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 180

You deserved it 7 380

Quality family time

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, after a long talk with the kids, I finally got all the chores around the house done early so we could have a fun family weekend. My wife decided to be a wet blanket and insisted we needed to deep clean the already clean kitchen. Three arguments later, everyone is sulking, and I'm working in the kitchen alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 101

Nice…

By MexyBoy - 11/06/2019 16:08

Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 293

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 12/04/2023 00:00

Today, after my man told me to get the dishes done and clean up the kitchen, he got mad at me because I didn’t answer my phone when our son needed medicine that was downstairs. I didn’t hear it ring because I was throwing out the trash, cleaning out the fridge, and washing the dishes, like I was told to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 273

Compassion

By Anemity_is_my_name - 07/01/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 87

Law and order

By Anonymous - 28/08/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 318

You deserved it 3 281

Hank Pecker

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 15:29 - United States - Richmond

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 147

You deserved it 3 605

Sensitive

By itsevenworse - 07/08/2021 00:01 - France

Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 115

Keep it clean

By germy germs - 01/07/2021 19:01 - United States

Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 227

Marriage going well is it?

By Long sufferer - 21/02/2021 02:01

Today, at 5:30 a.m., my wife woke me to order milk for our business because she forgot to do so last night. She then chewed me out for doing it there and then, waking her up. I'm apparently useless, always complaining and in a bad mood about the most mundane things. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 103

JackWood 20

Friday 25 March 2022 12:18

Couldn't you just go back to bed ?

benjamn 24

Friday 25 March 2022 18:05

Just think, if you stayed bed then you could be that lazy ass that didn't clean up the kitchen. Sometimes there's just no winning.

Comments

JackWood 20

Friday 25 March 2022 12:18

Couldn't you just go back to bed ?

benjamn 24

Friday 25 March 2022 18:05

Just think, if you stayed bed then you could be that lazy ass that didn't clean up the kitchen. Sometimes there's just no winning.

Devil's Advocate 1

Sunday 3 April 2022 10:58

Tell her you had to stretch so you could bang her like a drum. 😉

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Boredom

The Top

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 229

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 125

The Top

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 691

You deserved it 38 574

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 598

You deserved it 26 764

Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 422

You deserved it 52 925

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 082

You deserved it 5 893

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 071

You deserved it 1 120

Today, I received my year 12 yearbook. After such a bad year of let downs, it wasn’t surprising that the school fucked it up and put the previous year's group photo in it instead of ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 85

Same thing different taste

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